Please do have the chemo. My mum had a full node clearance but if there has been any node involvement then there could be minute cells circulating that would not show up on any tests which is what the chemo will mop up. Unfortunately you can show clear margins but still be at risk of recurrence so chemo really is an investment, My Mum bless her was told she didn't need radiotherapy after chemo but at the last minute they changed their mind as they weren't sure if her chest lymph were swollen so she felt like the finish line had been snatched away from her but now she's well out the other side of treatment - she's so glad she had everything thrown at it. She just said that if it ever came back - at least she'd know she'd done everything she could plus there is much less chance of it coming back if you see treatment through.

Thank you. I was having a 'wobble'

i know what I need to do, and I will do the treatment. I just got overwhelmed. I've had a mini meltdown and now I have put my 'big girl' pants back on ! xxx

Thank you  

ive sat myself down and given myself a talking to xxx

Thank you so much xxx

You and your mum are of course absolutely right. I would never forgive myself if I hadn't thrown everything at it. I was having a 'wobble'. It just sometimes feels so overwhelming. I am having one type of chemo three times over 9 weeks. Then two different types together (one of which is the 'red' one) for a further three times over the next 9 weeks then radiotherapy. 
I'm only 62, so it's still too soon to give up x