Hi,

I'm sorry to learn that you are in the same boat as me. Although I have multiple lumps in my breast. It knocks you for six doesn't it. I posted yesterday asking if anyone had a similar diagnosis. I had some really lovely responses from kind people lifting my spirits. Have a look at my first post, by clicking on my name. Hopefully the responses will ease your anguish slightly too. 
 

x

I have just read them that is something to hope for. Yes I was expecting I had it but I think I've misunderstood what he said, I thought he meant stage 3 and then when he said about having spread my heart just broke for my kids, one is special needs and only just starting secondary which I was already anxious about before all this happened! 
 

He said I need a masectomy because I have calcium which is fine I really couldn't care less as long as they fix it.  He did say sometimes they do second biopsy if a patient doesn't want masectomy and I was like nope I don't care that'll just delay it.

I have been reading quite a lot and anything involving lymph is stage 2 onwards.  Which still has quite a high rate of recovery.  It's just the dreaded scans and waiting!  Have also read only 6 percent of people have stage 4 at initial diagnosis which is pretty small.  Just hoping and praying it's two or even three right now! 
 

Thank you for replying, means a lot to feel less alone.  I am sorry you are going through it too though xx

Hi,

Im jumping in to say hello Badger, I'm currently stalking Sarah's posts as she gave me a lovely reply yesterday and I'm in the 2 week wait, trying not to put trapped wind down and an achey elbow down to spread cancer, the latest of a long line of symptom spotting I've done since last week's biopsies. And this appears to be my new activity before I try to fall asleep, I used to scroll FB mindlessly now I look for cancer posts who have similar to me.

I am so sorry and I'm glad Sarah is so positive, I think I'm about a week behind you and expecting bad news, my lump was 2cm and they were pretty much saying it's cancer, there's only a slim chance it's not, I also had biopsy on my lymph node as it was abnormal.

I'm 46, and have a 2 year old and a nearly 6 year old, I've thrown myself into party planning this week to try take my mind off it

I didn't realise the hormone driven ones the good one, given I'm perimenopausal, just finished breastfeeding been pregnant twice in the last 6 years and started HRT 6 weeks ago, I'm probably prime contender for hormone!!

Hi

I was also told the same as you last Thursday. I had my CT scan on Saturday and I phoned the hospital yesterday as I am so stressed and cant sleep thinking every little pain or ache is because it has spread. They told be the results arent back and that they would firstly need to be discussed next Tues..OMG next bloody Tues!! And then the nurse said that they have requested a MRI for me which is next Weds.. so thats gonna be another week of waiting for results..i said to the nurse that i just want to know if its spread or not!!..she was very nice but couldnt tell me anything..but surely the radiologist report would say if it has spread or not, which makes be worry that they know it has spread. This whole process is so scarey..i am going to phone again tomorrow because I cannot wait any more.. I feel all these scans should be done prior to giving you a diagnosis..I feel its kinda cruel to tell you yes youve got breast cancer, give you a stage and what treatment you are going to have and then in the next breath to say however you will need to have scans to see if it has spread..so really the stage and the treatment plan they have given me could change..Its a bloody nightmare and im here with you, feeling that my life is being discussed without be knowing first..i know there are processes and procedures medical teams have to follow and they do an amazing job..but it doesnt stop me from worrying 24/7 about my CT results.

Yes the consultant drew a picture saying well it starts here that isn't you then it spreads to here that also isn't you then it spread to lymph's and this is where we are with you.  He was very kind and gentle but I don't think his explanation was the best for me personally I wanted to hear yes you have this but it's very treatable not going on about stages of spread.  I've also had indigestion and thought oh crap but I think it's like when you're pregnant and suddenly you notice everybody that's pregnant or has a small baby whereas you probably walked past without a second glance before hand.  My chest hurts a bit too but I think that is stress more than likely!  My scanner lady pretty much said yes it's cancer well she said it looks like it is but we need to be sure.

yes he explained all the markings of the tumour and said this is you but this a good thing because usually they are easier to treat.  He also said it is not a death sentence and there is a lot we can do.  I wasn't sure how to take that one really.  Like why are you mentioning death????? But then yes you're trying to be reassuring come on get a grip of yourself!! The waiting is just so hard I've even said to my husband do you think the scans would be quicker if we paid?  I have no idea how much they'd cost and they probably wouldn't be much quicker anyway we decided.

My friends are all doing the positivity hat thing you'll be fine this time next year you'll wonder why you were so stressed.  Thing is with me I've always cared more about everybody else than myself, I actually don't care what treatment is, I actually don't care what they do, the consultant said I need a masectomy and I think I'm he was a bit surprised when I said good get rid of it! I care about everyone else.  My kids my husband my family, my dad is 86 and has bowel cancer.  One of my very best friends husband died of a brain tumour.  I'm thinking god how can I even begin to tell her?  She's an only child and we've been best friends since I was 4 so she's like a sister and me to her.  She's been through hell and now there is this to contend with.

Husband felt angry at initial scan and said it isn't fair and I'm so nice and i don't deserve it and I said well flipping heck who would?  You'd have to be horrendous to deserve this.  Maybe hitler perhaps but that's all I can think of?? 

The not knowing is the worst xx

Alibobs,

I know it is so so hard but try to hang onto the fact that so few people are stage 4.  My mum had cancer she walked into the hospital looking for all the world perfectly normal and 3 days later she couldn't pick a cup up.  There was a mix up at the hospital and she'd been put in a different building because they didn't have enough beds basically. So nobody had seen her I went crackers when I got there and the consultant came over just looked at her and said we need to move now and that was it.  She was whisked off to the cancer building and given chemo, I was upset and said why have you let this happen why haven't you treated her you know what she has.  He looked at me and very gently said it isn't that simple, lymphoma for example has 33 different types and we have to make sure we give the correct formula of chemo.  I was like oh.  But you know what she recovered from that. She shouldn't have but she did.  My dad also very nearly died a couple of years ago he had sepsis.  The consultant said nobody has ever been as sick as him and recovered when I was desperately trying to grab onto a positive and you know what he also recovered.

I know it is so hard and pretty much all of us are in turmoil right now I've hardly slept!  we need to trust and to wait. I have moments of I got this I'm gonna smash it then I have moments of holy cow this is just hideous.  it really does help having people to talk to though!! Xx

I'm exactly the same, I had thyroid cancer 11 years ago, the hardest part of the whole process was telling family and friends I had it and dealing with their emotions, I wasn't with my partner then, he's really in denial, infact 2 days ago he was going on about not telling anyone else about it yet as they'll all gossip and say look at her spouting off saying she has cancer and she hasn't after all! He says it's a fibroadenoma (he's googled alot and this is his accepted conclusion, I hope he's right but I fear he's not from what I've googled) yes I know I shouldn't Google but it's the only thing I can do, I'm not a bury my head in the sand person, and at least I might now know when they say what it is a bit more background, 

Hi.

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April which is grade 2. They ended up finding a second lump in my breast which was also cancer and it had also spread to my lymph nodes. I had a CT scan which showed no further spread. I had got myself into a panic at the time assuming that if it had gone to my lymph nodes then it must have gone elsewhere but that was not the case. I spoke to a breast nurse at the time who was quite reassuring and had come across many others who'd had spread to lymph nodes but no further spread. 

I also got the sense that nobody really wanted to discuss 'what ifs' as we just didn;t know at the time. It can be a really worrying and scary time, especially waiting for results. 

Hope you don't have to wait too long for your results and wishing you well.