Hi,

I've replied to your other post but just wanted to say - have that drink - you will get emotional anyway because you are still in shock from the diagnosis. Explain it to your friend over a drink but don't dwell on it because rehashing it will only make you feel worse, won't answer or solve your worries and your friend won't know what to say. Don't be shocked if your friend doesn't understand the magnitude of your diagnosis. Sadly, due to lack of sun safety education, most people think skin cancer isn't a 'proper' cancer and can be cured simply by cutting out the mole. They don't understand that it entails far more - scans, further surgery, regular check ups and the small chance that it may come back and spread internally etc. Whatever happens, talking & having a weep will help you, believe me, but then try to put it to the back of your mind for the rest of the evening because there is a very good chance that your treatment will be successful and the constant worry won't achieve anything.

Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)

Thank you for your reply. You were right. I told her I had been diagnosed with Melanoma, she'd never heard of it so I explained it was a bad type of skin cancer, she was sympathetic and showed concern. Then after talking about it for a while we went on to other topics of conversation and then came back to the melanoma. I said "It sounds so weird to say 'i have cancer'". She looked concerned and said "so it's actual cancer then?" 

Sadly that is what we all face when trying to explain about melanoma. Once you feel able I suggest it may help you to do the following - either post on your social media about your diagnosis in the hope it helps your friends to understand it and to take sun safety seriously, or get some leaflets about melanoma from the dermatology department (they sometimes have them in the waiting room), or print some out from this website (CRUK) and, after you've told your friends and family about your diagnosis, hand them a leaflet and say it explains it in more detail. Hopefully it will help them understand a little better that 'Yes, this is proper cancer' and 'No, cutting it out is usually successful but for some it can spread & it can kill.' We shouldn't have to but it's amazing how we have to grow a thick skin - not to deal with the melanoma but to deal with those who can't grasp that melanoma is serious.

Take care & let us know how you are getting on,

Angie x