Hi Jo-84

I'm sorry to hear your having a rubbish time lately.

Cancer is a topic that not all the older generation understand. People had cancer years ago had little intervention maybe some chemo and often died. Nowt days treatments are so different. And lifespans have been extended.

Is she embarrassed? What was treatment options for her cancer? And any idea of life expectancy time scale if treatment is not wanted. ( just a random guess of timemscale tho as no ones got a crystal ball -told my dad two years abs he lives 8) 
I'm 42 years old , found lump in my boob last week and I've been told stage 2invasive Ductal breast cancer. I've been offered lump and lymph out and radiotherapy and meds.

Maybe chat with her, see why her decision is how it is. And maybe if she will listen Explain that you want her to live longer for your son and you too.

uktimately it's her call-if that's what she truely wants then respect her decision and spend time with each other as often as you can.

best wishes to you and your mam. 

Efffie xxx 
 

Her best friend died from breast cancer years ago and told her that the treatment is worse and I think that's what puts her off but that was years and years ago so it's all changed but she won't change her mind about it. She's been told 1 year minimum and four years max without treatment. I hope all works out for you and your treatment. I kept waking up and then realising it wasn't a dream and crying but my mum she had the best nights sleep in ages last night. She had a knee replacement couple of nights ago and hasn't slept well since as it's taken her a while to get over it and the pain of that to ease off at night, she's all cheerful and positive and I know it's a front xxx

So hard as her choice, I've not long finished l my treatment it's hard going, but yoh have to go day by day amd not look to far ahead, I done it as I'm not that old neither are my children so had to try everything x

I do understand and I do respect it it's just tearing me apart knowing that I now have a time limit on how long left I have with her, you can run over by a bus they say or a freak accident tomorrow etc but knowing that it's got a max time to have her with me and my boys it's crap. I know it's only early days and I will accept it over time and deal with it better and easier but I'm now realising the stone and a half that we originally thought was lack of wrong due to the pain from her knee could actually be this reason. My 12 year old nearly 13 has noticed something is up and asked me why I was so upset yesterday and is trying to listen to what he can (which I'm obviously not saying anything infront of him or that he can hear, that I'm aware of) he opened his bedroom window last night and listened in as he said to me today why are you trying to get nan to try cpd oil (someone mentioned it to me and I'm willing to listen to anything anyone can reckoned or suggest that doesn't involve treatment like chemo) and I don't know what to do, should I tell him or should I not, he's very close to her and before I met my husband it was me and him and mum, she saw him everyday and helped out when I went to work so I don't know if it's the right thing to do telling him or not, any advice on this would be great fully received pls xx

Ah bless your heart I totally get it, amd j always think try everything but I also get she doesn't want to, it's very difficult, I always think be honest with children but only you know your son, if yoh think he is going to pick up little bits it might be worth telling him but not all of it just what he needs to know right now. I've heard good things about the oil and it might be something you'r mum might consider. I had chemo and all along was told o didn't need it then got my her results back and had you have it,I have lots of aches and pains but I'm alive not sure if from radio chemo or my meds 

He's a worrier and I don't want o put him through it when it could be four years on but I'll have a think about it , thank you for your help xx

Wait till you feel the time is right praying for a miracle for your mum x