A routine scan for a hernia prior to having an op to remove loose skin & subsequent biopsies showed I have three cancers - cancer of the womb, vulva cancer and cancer on my lymph nodes related to the vulva cancer but also told that I had HPV and when looked it up discovered it what gave me cervical cancer when in my twenties (came back 18mths later) and resulted in cervical incompetence so I lost 10 babies as soon as the baby got heavier eg 6mths went into premature labour but mother nature put an end to that (as I was turning into a basket case) by going into early menopause at 29. The HPV is also responsible for my current cancers and now know that this event I shoved deep down in my mind and thought the key lost as now resurfaced as I was ganged raped when 15 as given to them by a boyfriend I had dumped but was thrown through a glass front door by my dad who was trying to shoot me with his shotgun so although bleeding from a cut on my bottom ran off down the road and ran away and thus phoned the ex boyfriend who took me on holiday to the coast (paid for everything) and now the rape, the miscarriages (the heartbreak, the shame and the cancers plus having the op cancelled for the loose skin makes me feel as if being punished - cant sleep and just want an end to it all.
