Hi everyone, I thought I'd share my story with you about my journey.

I found a lump on the 19th April 2021. I never checked my boobs but one day I took my bra of and they were both really achey so I gave them a little feel. My heart nearly stopped, a definite bumpy mass. When my partner got out of the shower I asked him to feel thinking, hoping, he would tell me I was imagining it but when the colour drained from his face I knew I had not.

Drs appointment made for the 23rd April. Got in there, still hoping it was my imagination or that it was just one of those come and go bumps but her face told me otherwise. She told me  that I would be referred to my local breast clinic and gave me a form, forever now know as 'the form of doom' because at the top in bold it said 'suspected cancer' then in smaller font it said this doesn't necessarily mean you have cancer... I thought to myself, why put it on there then? And then I cried.

Anyway, because I had moved and my GP had not updated my records the two week referral window came and went. So I went private with an appointment the next day. The consultant, a lovely friendly woman had a feel and told me she didn't think it was anything but sent me for a private mammogram and an ultrasound on the NHS at my local hospital where she is also a consultant. 
so I arrived in my appointment and they gave me another mammogram, I've already had a mammogram I said and then they told me that they had found something and I would need a 3D mammogram - what? I said. Why didn't anyone tell me, I was obviously looking a bit unhinged because she went to get the consultant radiologist. In the eternity before they came back I had convinced myself it was stage 4 and I had months to live, I paced the room trying to run away from myself. 
the radiologist came in and explained to me they had found something that needed further investigation. She was calm so I was calm - the fight in me kicked in and I though ok, let's have you. I had a mammogram, an ultrasound, which wasnt a cyst, I asked and a core biopsy x 4. She did tell me it was small, which was slightly reassuring. It didn't hurt although it bruised and then off I went for the agonising 2 week wait.

saw my consultant on the 26th May she was running 40 minutes late and I thought I would pass out if I had to wait any longer.

I sat in front of her and she said it is cancer - can you cure it I said and she told me words that were music to my ears, stage 1 grade 2 hormone receptive. Lumpectomy, radiation and tamoxifen were my new theee favourite words I hugged her, so grateful that it was the best outcome of a bad outcome. In fact I also had a fibrodeonoma which is what we felt, the cancer was hiding behind it, so that little anomaly pretty much saved my life.

I met my Macmillan breast nurse who is the loveliest lady in the world, I want her to come and live with me!

I went in for my lumpectomy 21st June had a radioactive seed and dye injected into me which didn't hurt at all, I actually found it fascinating. Went into surgery at 4.30, the anaesthesia team we're so lovely and I went to sleep laughing. I woke up bang on 6pm the clock opposite was the first thing I saw and in my funny state I shouted I'm here!! The nurse laughed and gave me some water. I asked if I could go back to the ward, and after two more blood pressure monitors I did. The ward sister told me if I could walk to the toilet on my own she would discharge me, so I danced down the ward, albeit on shaky legs. I was home at 8pm. Back in the arms of my wonderful husband, and the second wait began.

On Wednesday 7th July I found out the lumpectomy was successful. They took the cancer out with clear margins and the two lymph nodes they took were also clear, however they had re graded it to grade 3, meaning it was aggressive and that they had sent off the cancer to the US to have an oncotype dx test to find out what the likelihood of it reoccurring was. If it was high that would mean chemo... 

So again we waited - I'm due to get married this Wednesday and my lovely breast team knew this. On Friday I received a phone call from my lovely breast nurse who said on behalf of your breast team here we wanted to wish you a lovely happy wedding day and your consultant has permitted me to share with you your results as they came back as very low chance of recurrence, you will not need chemo. Again I cried, sobbed in fact. So I have my meeting with the oncologist in a week to discuss radiation and tamoxifen, I understand it's not a walk in the park but I am forever grateful to still be here, and hopeful. It is rollercoaster, the goalposts change and you will need to put your big girl pants on a lot of the time, but also cry when you feel like it. I stayed positive most of the time and im grateful to be making plans for the future. It could come back but you can't live your life that way. I wish you all love on your journey. Be kind to yourself, ask lots of questions and never give up hope. X