Mum’s tests show she has multiple cancers

Mum was hospitalised for a week last month due to pleural effusion (out of nowhere!). Pleural biopsy and stain tests showed metastatic adenocarnicoma with breast as primary. Had no  breast scans or mammograms done, though. Other tests such as JAK2 test was positive for gene mutation (?bone marrow cancer?) and  Ca125 and HE4 were also very high indicating ovarian cancer, CT abdo with contrast and transvaginal US also confirmed this. 

Have seen the OB-gynae today who discussed total hysterectomy, and possibly mastectomy at the same time. Have not seen the haematologist as appointment was cancelled today. Still waiting to see the oncologist. 
 

I am trying to put on a brave face for my Mum but deep inside I am broken, I hide my tears because I cannot show that I am crumbling apart. I cannot even say the word 'cancer' when I am with Mum and I avoid talking about this topic when I am with her because I know she is already devastated. The waiting and not knowing the treatment plan and what the prognosis is, is just unbearable.

Is it possible for Mum to have two or three primary? Anyone else had a similar experience? Please, any advice on how to cope myself  so I can support Mum best will be greatly appreciated because at present, my head and heart are shattered. 

  • I dont know about your mums cancer as my husband has primary bowel cancer that had spread locally and secondary liver metastases. He was diagnosed in March.

    So a primary cancer can grow into other nearby organs.

    Secondary cancer is spread via lymph nodes and blood vessels.

    So you are right at the beginning of this journey.

    Has your mums cancer been staged yet?  That will give you a better understanding of the situation.

    It is helpful to write down questions you have.

    Find out who is on her MDT.

    Ask who is your first point of call so you arent phoning different departments.  Your mum should be assigned a specialist cancer nurse.

    Ask your mum if she wants to talk or ask questions.  It is different for everyone, but at least acknowledge the elephant in the room.

    If you dont want to say cancer, use a different word like tumor.

    My husband doesnt want to know anything.  I want to know everything.

     

  • Thank you so much, Sally44. I really appreciate your reply. 

    Mum's cancer has not been staged yet. Still need to see her oncologist. My mind was already racing when I heard about the 3 cancers that she has. I will follow your advice. You're right, I need to at least acknowledge the elephant in the room, maybe Mum actually wants to talk about it. I don't want to make her feel that I am ignoring how she feels.