Hand cancer :( anyone have experience? (bit of a vent)

Hi, I've just been diagnosed with some sort of cancer in a finger joint, after about six months of inconclusive scans, biopsies and surgery to remove a tumour that was by then about the size of a walnut. They aren't sure what kind of cancer it is yet, but I'll be having the affected finger amputated. 

I'm not bothered about that as the finger is useless at this point. It's just a numb stiff thing that gets in the way. It's already cost me my source of income (i was an artist, not anymore) so I'm just focusing on surviving- I can get a new job, if i'm well enough, or go on benefits but I can't get a new life!

What's scarier is not knowing what kind of cancer it is, where it's spread to, or where it's spread from. How do you deal with the waiting when you don't have your test results yet? I keep worrying that it's a secondary tumour that's spread from my lungs or something, which makes me anxious and shaky, and then I panic more because I think it's a symptom... I have a ct scan this week, but they're only doing my chest/abdomen and not everywhere else? Should that be a worry?

Does anyone have experience with cancer in the hand, or know of any resources for learning to write with your non dominant hand? 

  • So sorry to hear what you are dealing with

    My cancer experience isn't relevant to your situation. However, my hand problems are to the extent that fearing the loss of use of one hand I've started teaching myself to write with my other hand reminding myself how bad my handwriting efforts looked when I started writing as a child and just gaining more and more hand control – pencil is easier than pen as it slow things down. Think child's exercise book and doing shapes then each letter repeatedly. All those steps we go through learning to write! The result is that I can now write legibly with my other hand. Downside it's still very slow. But I probably haven't put in as much time as I could have done. Hoping things will speed up the more time I give it. Wishing you all the best with this. I think a teacher could offer more tips! You might even find you are able to do art again – perhaps in a slightly different way – when you become more practised. Hope your op goes ok! 

  • Thank you. That's more or less what I've been doing, so it's good to know I'm on the right track. I can write somewhat legibly given enough time, at least.

    I'm hoping I'll relearn to do some form of drawing eventually, as a hobby. I'm trying to keep my expectations low but I'm stubborn enough to try and I think I'll go mad without some sort of creative outlet lol.

    I'm sorry to hear about your hand issues, that must be tough :(

  • You seem to have a great attitude here. Really positive! Also you might want to improve your hand control with the non-dominant hand in other ways like getting super large brushes and just having fun or using paintbox features on computer or cutting shapes and collage etc. If using technology do be super careful to get the set-up right so you don't develop any RSI issues which would impact use of the new "best hand". If it comes to art I was never any good at drawing, so there's no difference which hand I use. Good luck experimenting and once again hope all goes smoothly with the op.

  • Paintbox may now be state of the ark, with its joystick option I was even thinking you might still be able to use the dominant hand. There must be some up-to-date technology that does similar stuff!

  • Gotta keep plugging on, even though it's scary right now.

    I worked mostly digitally so I'm lucky in that I have the computer, software etc to work with. You're right though, I'm going to be very careful abour RSI. That's actually how the cancer went undiagnosed for so long, I thought it was RSI and my doctor suspected that or psoriatic athritis until the swelling became more extreme. There was nothing obvious on the x-ray, mri, ultrasound or needle biopsy that said cancer apparently.

    Possibly I can adjust to using the dominant hand (and I'll try), but I do want to get used to working with the other as well, in case the cancer pops up again or they can't remove it all and I need more surgery later.

  • Sorry it took so long to get to the bottom of things. 

    Pleased you've got the digital know how. Know what you mean about scary and wanting extra options. Good you've started preparing early. Plan for the worst, hope for the best!

    Forgot to say if cutting with the left-hand you'll need left hand scissors.  I've just found that doing things other than writing is helping build up confidence with my non-dominant hand in case that helps you too.

  • It's been a long haul, definitely. I had doctors telling me it was most likely benign until last week, but it turns out it's a very unusual malignant thing. Unfortunately because it was attached to a tendon they didn't remove it all in the first surgery.

    Honestly that's my motto. Family keep calling me a pessimist, but I'm trying to be as prepared as I can.

    I'm very lucky in that I'm left handed for writing, but I've always used scissors and most tools, computer mice etc right handed. So at least that's one area where I don't have to adapt too much!

    And seriously, thanks for the advice :)

  • I'm going from right to left.  Good you've got a bit of a headstart. From what you say in terms of being able to write legibly albeit slowly you're already ambidextrous. Congratulations on being so prepared!

  • Small mercies, right? 

    Good luck with adapting to your shift, too!