Hi,

I'm in the same boat as you. Found the lump in my left breast (2cm by 3cm) last week, straight to doctors two days later, then appointment at clinic yesterday. They found a smaller lump which they think is benign and one of my lymph nodes slightly enlarged (by 0.2mm) so I had three biopsies, two mammograms and an ultrasound, as well as two clips put in. They've told me they're pretty certain the biggest lump is cancer and I get my results next Thursday.

I am petrified. I've got a vomiting phobia so the idea of chemo and a general anaesthetic terrifies me as well as the obvious worries. I'm up and down with emotions - fine one minute and sobbing the next.

x

Hi,

I'm in the same boat as you. Found the lump in my left breast (2cm by 3cm) last week, straight to doctors two days later, then appointment at clinic yesterday. They found a smaller lump which they think is benign and one of my lymph nodes slightly enlarged (by 0.2mm) so I had three biopsies, two mammograms and an ultrasound, as well as two clips put in. They've told me they're pretty certain the biggest lump is cancer and I get my results next Thursday.

I am petrified. I've got a vomiting phobia so the idea of chemo and a general anaesthetic terrifies me as well as the obvious worries. I'm up and down with emotions - fine one minute and sobbing the next.

x

Hey, 

      I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation, i know what you mean about the emotions being all over the place, it hits me worst when im trying to sleep as i start worrying will my colleagues notice i've been off at short notice, will they ask why, what do i tell them at least until i know more myself.  Has your Consultant said if you need a full CT scan as well, I have mine today and considering i only saw the consultant on Thursday so the speed of progress through the system is terrifying me. 

xx

They've not mentioned a CT scan - just had the biopsies and off to get the results on Thursday. I hope your scan goes well today xx

Ive been up and down all day. So worried about he spread and want a full body scan now!!! I've had a headache all day and am worrying constantly about life span now. I'm still in shock and totally traumatised. 

The scan went well, it was a quick easy process, just a strange feeling when they injected the contrast dye, i'm just now trying to look my work sickness policy as at the moment until i have a confirmed diagnosis i'm using annual leave to attend my appointments, i want to keep on working as long as possible but i'm aware that dependant on my treatment plan this may not be possible. I received a copy of the referral report today that my GP has received, it states my lump is atypical/suspicious and measures 4x4.5cm, the part that scares me is that it lists todays scan as a staging scan which suggest to me that he feels its advanced, i wish i hadn't read the letter my mind is now convinced that i'll have to have a mastectomy. My breast aches as the bruising from the biopsy is starting to come out and its painful to sleep on that side.

Yeah mine hurts too but the itching from the steri strips is the worst! I've not had a copy of my report. Try not to worry until you get the results - easier said than done, I know xx

I am too. I don't even care about losing my breast or hair etc... xx

i know, my mum's like, i'll book you a hair cut you'll feel better, i'm like its a waste of money if i'm going to lose my hair, if i have to have chemo, i'll shave it off, i've seen family friends go through losing it in clumps at a time and i can't handle that.

I don't have any dimensions yet but gather that it's large from the doctor being amazed that I'd not come in sooner and had it checked but its honestly just grown quickly over the last few weeks so now I've decided to act in it. It was the g change in my nipple that prompted me the most.

My other boob is now starting to ache and I'm wondering if it's in there too. I'm fully OK with the mastectomy idea, I'd Chop them off myself right now if I could! I've still got to wait until Thursday for the treatment plan and feedback on staging etc. The waiting is horrible. I'm wondering what I should do about work but think it's better I go in.

The worst thing is that I'm meant to be going to Haven on Friday with my family. I just hope I can still go. Once last 'normal' holiday before this battle begins.

My first d day app is tomorrow and I'm terried.

Ever since they've told me, I've felt sick. Exhausted, and achy and suddenly my chest is heavy, my armpits tights and pulling, burning sensation in my neck and my eyes blood red. I've googled it to death which has only made my feel worse.

I want to get it over with now and find out how far advanced it is but am so scared and suspect there will be more tests to be done.

Cancer is so cruel. I just keep looking at my two young children worrying about how they'll cope.

Preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. 

I've had another app and they confirmed I have a 3cm lobular breast cancer tumour. The other 2 fine needle aspiration tests came back inconclusive so they need to be done again in a week, then I'll have an MRI.

The waiting is the worst part. Too much time to think and worry about what's going to happen or be said.

Cbemo is a given but the other treatments all depend on the results again.

It's like living in perpetual nightmare, with no end in sight. Struggling to muster strength today and sleep was almost impossible last night.