Hi [@Berks]‍ 

Sorry to hear that you have had a potential diagnosis, these first days are the hardest as although you appear to have some answers there is so much waiting and wondering, so many questions rise up and you start wondering how you are going to cope or how bad it is going to be.

Wednesday is going to feel like a lifetime away and googling and reading you hope will make you feel better but only makes things worse.

I am now 9 months on from my surgery and 10 months on from my diagnosis. 

I found that the Breast Care Unit were so friendly, they took the time with me, didn't make me feel like they had to rush me out the door and are happy to talk things through with you. 

I know that until you have answers you end up looking at worse case scenarios, it really messes with your mind.

There is no quick fix unfortunately to make this dreaded waiting time pass any quicker, I just hope that when Wednesday does come around that they will give you plenty of information about how they can help you.

Take Care and feel free to message me if you want to chat while your waiting. x

Thank you Kay-D,

This group is so invaluable and I cannot stress how appreciative I am.

I really hope that the hospital can see me on the 30th - it's all down to the case load and if the pathologist report has been viewed etc for the recommendations. The doctor I saw before leaving was great but I didn't ask many questions at all really because I guess I was in shock / numb - since I got home I've got loads but I don't think they can tell me what I need to know without the report! 
 

On a personal note, I've been strong one minute ie I'll make a mini office in bedroom and guide the team on anything I can when I can to planning pushing daisies and what I'm going to do with my jewellery!!! Totally bonkers!

I'm new to the site and just found it last night - thank heavens. So good to read your journey and so happy that you've made so much progress - love that you're back into fitness too. Feel so much better. 
x

Hi [@Berks]‍ 

I was pleased when I found this group too, you don't feel so alone and know what your going though is shared and your down moments are a natural response.

Your mind tends to allow you to switch off from it in small amounts and then it just seems to jump back to your fore thought. I did find that as soon as I did have answers it did get easier, I think it is just the not knowing that freaks you out even more and even with a cancer diagnosis they explain treatment plans and give you plenty of leaflets to read and give you support. But your right all the questions you have brimming up right now are ones that will be a good idea to jot down so that as soon as Wednesday does come around anything they don't tell you thats on your list you can ask. 

I just remember sitting there and listening to everything that was said by the oncologist and when he left I wasn't rushed out the room the breast nurse that had been assigned to me stayed in the room with me to make sure I was OK and whether I needed to talk about anything and ask any questions that hadn't been covered. I still walked away in a bit of a daze, but it gave my mind time to process it before I had to make phonecalls to my daughter and my friend. 

Until you know it's so hard to focus - because you read about all these different types so it boggles the mind, when you know if it is DCIS, invasive, lobular etc etc, and then grade and stage and Her2 positive or negative - sorry if that bamboozled or scared you but once you know these things it is easier to read up on things and not be sidetracked by what it could be which sends you down all sorts of spirals. So if you are able to keep away from the things it could be, until you have the report it helps your sanity a little bit.... But tears are good.... otherwise it just bottles up and makes things alot harder to handle, my favourite place is in the bath listening to music and balling my eyes out.

Take Care x

Hi Kay-D,

thank you for taking the time to write and share your experiences, it is really helping to know that I'm not going bonkers completely.  You're right there are moments of 'I've got this and will be up for the fight' then having moments of pushing it to one side to full on all consuming and emotional.

It would help me personally to know more before the next appointment because I had no clue whatsoever that there were various types until this happened. My fear is that I'll be trying to catch up on all the acronyms instead of really taking it in and asking the questions important to me. This is what I think happened on Thursday because I was sure it was a cyst I hadn't thought of the what if and any questions. 

Im literally going one day (or hour) at a time - today is just being and tomorrow is research!

Thank you again for sharing and the support.

Ren x 

Hi Kay-D,

thank you for taking the time to write and share your experiences, it is really helping to know that I'm not going bonkers completely.  You're right there are moments of 'I've got this and will be up for the fight' then having moments of pushing it to one side to full on all consuming and emotional.

It would help me personally to know more before the next appointment because I had no clue whatsoever that there were various types until this happened. My fear is that I'll be trying to catch up on all the acronyms instead of really taking it in and asking the questions important to me. This is what I think happened on Thursday because I was sure it was a cyst I hadn't thought of the what if and any questions. 

Im literally going one day (or hour) at a time - today is just being and tomorrow is research!

Thank you again for sharing and the support.

Ren x