Hello Lucy85 (I'm a Lucie too!) and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

Poor you I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis at a time when you should be focusing on your wedding preparations. It's such a shame too that it already had to be rescheduled because of Covid. As you've only just been diagnosed you must be going through a whirlwind of emotions at the moment but you've come to the right place to meet other ladies who have been in your position before and I hope that they will be along shortly to talk to you about their own breast cancer journey. I did read a really inspirational thread this morning by [@Scottielass]‍ who has come out the other side of her cancer journey and who would be a good person for you to talk to. You can read her story here and feel free to respond if you wish. 

It can seem really difficult to have to talk to children about cancer but luckily our little ones are often more resilient than we think. It's a good idea I think to talk to them before treatment starts to best prepare them ahead of your chemotherapy sessions. There is some useful information on this page on how to talk to children about cancer. It also mentions helpful resources such as books that you may use with them. I hope that you will also hear from the personal experiences of other parents here who have also had to have this difficult conversation before.

I wish you the very best for your treatment. I hope it all goes smoothly for you and that you can look forward to a lovely wedding which is hopefully still happening in August. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi there ...

I'm so sorry your having to deal with this so young ... cancer doesn't care .... it's crule ...

I thought I'd add to Lucie great advice ... as I had 2 little grandkids when I was diagnosed... we used gentle honesty with them... told them nanny was very poorly ... and the Drs were going to TRY to make me better.... we answered questions, which were few, honestly but in simple terms ... I think it helped them ... when my granddaughter saw my masectomy scar, by accident ... she yelled " nanny how are you gonna feed babies now"  so there is light, even at times like this ... that was in 2017 ... 

Last year their sister who was 18 developed acute myeloid leukaemia.... we had to again be gently honest and explain how she may loose her hair ... and she would feel very tired as the things that were trying to make her better, would do this for a while ...  

When she asked me if l was going to die, I said if I did ... I'd be the star next to the bright one that's my mummys star... as I miss her ... and we could look down and still see her ... 

I think if done gently and they know it's o.k to cry or smile or worry sometimes it's o.k ... so if they see us with emotion , they can show emotion to ... it's a hard road but holding their little hands will help them more then you know ... they are far braver then us adults ... they can cry and ten minutes later go play .. 

There are books out there ... look on where Lucie suggested.... reach out and I think McMillan have a few books too ... fingers crossed you kick cancers butt ... lots do ... Chrissie x

Hi Lucy 

I'm 31 and have had my first 2 cycles of chemo for breast cancer. I also have 3 children who I had to tell 11, 9 and 4 I was also given a book mummy has a lump but I couldn't bring myself to read it never mind read it to my kids. I told the older two differently then I did with my 4 year old as I didn't think he would really get it. And I only told them when my hair started coming out ( it sounds like this is what you were saying) I just said to him that I'm poorly and the medicine that they are giving me to make me better makes your hair fall out. It's difficult I didn't want to tell them at all but I felt so much better once I had and my 9 year old turned round and said he knew there was something wrong he just didn't know what. I found the beginning far too hard but now I've started my treatment I feel a lot better mentally . Stay positive xx

Yeah I had this ached all over it is stress and you'll be really tense probably not eating feeling sick can't sit still, I was exactly the same really anxious too I fact that anxious that the back of my mouth was sat on my tongue which I then stressed about that. I had my mammogram and biopsy done the same day April 13th which isnt really that long ago and had my first treatment 20th May which is really quick but it felt like I was waiting forever. It's a horrible thing to go through but I feel so so much better now with my plan you won't think it now because I didn't when the nurses said to me but you will x