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Advanced Stomach Cancer, secondary liver

Patsy12345
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Hello everyone, 

I guess I need to went, looking for any advise as well... 

My beloved mum (68yo) who almost never complained about any health issues apart of ocassional heartburn, suddenly and extremely unexpectedly have been diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer which spread to her liver - only liver for now... When initial tests were done at the end of April 2021 she was fully mobile, still performing her usual day activities, shopping etc. She was weaker, in mild pain. But the sickness is progressing with speed of light... day by day was worse and worse. From Being fully normal To screaming from pain in hospital bed... 

Doctor have told me to be prepared for the worst. He said that nothing can be done as she is very frail and won't be able to take chemo. The only thing they can offer is palliative care. She is still in accute unit and her case is due to be presented to panel of different doctors on Wednesday ( at the time im writing this post is Sunday) 
There is few things that bothers me which I will of course discuss with the doctors in due course, but I wanted to see  what's other people take on it: 

1. Ascites - her tummy really grows in eyes. I assume this will have to be drained even in palliative care? I was looking for information if drainage can be ever refused by the doctors? 
2. Second opinion - maybe I'm delusional and don't want to accept the faith but I wanted to seek for second opinion. I don't want to give  up, I can see that mum wants to fight as well... is looking for second opinion a good idea ? Given the advanced stage, will everyone shut their door in front of me ? I just feel that specialist Hospital may be able to offer more.. 

3. Nutrition - I strongly believe that with the right nutrition I can help her to stay with us for longer. Part of the issue that we are in this situation is that just before diagnosis she was eating very little or not eating at all. I gave myself a mission to help her re gain some of her strength. Right now she is in hospital, absolutely screaming from pain. I keep reminding her that she need strength and nutrition to fight. 

Maybe I'm a little bit selfish, but I am only child and I got Only my mum, no brothers or sisters. I'm only 28 I should have my mom for bit longer than this :( 

I belive in miracles... and I pray all night long. 

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    I'm so sorry 

    You sound heartbroken 

    Just be there as much as you can , help her sip water , and be her advocate and get painkillers in, so she's not in pain. You can only do your best , support your mum,  ask, beg, demand painkillers for her. 

    Give yourself time together just to be , it's happening....breathe ...you can do this.

    If she's not eating much just get her what she might fancy and don't be sad if she can't or won't keep it down or eat it. You sound like your past a vegan diet and eating for wellness stage ....its hard but if its a chocolate finger and she just eats the chocolate...eat one with her and laugh.

    My dad has prostrate/bone stage 4 that's now gone into his  liver , given a couple of weeks ...its everywhere! He's gone from being my big strong support to an old frail wobbly yellow little old man, who doesn't pee ...drinks hardly anything and is sick when he eats ....and this man Loved his food ...my heart hurts but .....

    Give yourself head space to have this time ...but pain free is the key . Xx good luck keep strong.

    Talk to the drs, nurses, chat rooms get that clarity,  you will have to listen as well even if it's not what you want to hear but give yourself time together  

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