My brother

Hi, I'm a newbie. My brother was told a few weeks ago he had cancer.  He went to see his consultant yesterday about all the tests and biopsies he had and they told him the devastating news that his cancer is very aggressive and he's not strong enough for any treatment, and basically it's a matter of weeks not months.

I feel so numb, I can't bare the thought of never seeing him again. I lost my other brother to covid last year and I just don't know what to do. 

How do I stay strong for him, when I speak to him I break down, that makes me feel selfish, he is so brave trying to make me feel alright, I should be the one being strong for him.

I'm finding it very hard to cope at the moment. 

Thank you for letting me speak on here.

  • Hello T22

    I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's diagnosis and also that you lost another brother to Covid last year. It's obviously an incredibly difficult time and it's understandable that you're finding it difficult to cope at the moment. 

    I'm sure that your brother knows that this is difficult for you and I'd encourage you to talk to him openly about how you're feeling. You may find that it allows him to be open and honest with you as well and so you can better support each other. 

    We have some information here on our website about coping emotionally. Although it is written from a patient perspective you may find it helpful to have a read-through. 

    If you'd like to speak to someone about your brother's diagnosis and how you're feeling you're welcome to call our nurses. I'm sure they will be happy to talk with you and offer some support. You may find it helps make things easier for you to talk to your brother. If you'd like to chat with our nurses you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040. 

    I hope this helps. Keep in touch T22 and let us know how you're both doing. I'm sure the community will do its best to support you. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator