Hi [@Overwhelmeddaughter]‍ 

Sorry to hear about your mum, and the struggle you are having. I am in my late 40's and my daughter is in her early 20's. I know it was difficult for her when I was diagnosed. At times she didn't even want to talk about it with me or hear about any of it - she needed to process it in her own mind as did I.

When my Nan was diagnosed with Cancer many years ago, I found it so difficult, the fear, the inability to do anything to help. But with my diagnosis, I found it so much easier to deal with. I think because the Doctors talk you through everything and you have all that information, but when it is a family member you don't get to hear what the doctors say, you don't understand the treatments etc.

Your Mum knows you love her and knows that if she needs you, that you will be there for her.

That's what is so great about a mum daughter bond! Right now you are scared and don't want to lose any time with her. It will take time for your Mum to process things in her own mind and understand what she is feeling. I am a private person too, I only told my daughter, my best friend and my Dad, the rest of my family don't know and my daughter was under strict instructions not to post it on Facebook. She wasn't able to travel down to see me because of lockdown and that was difficult. But as you have moved to be closer to her, she will appreciate that. But please understand, that yes it is your Mum that has been diagonosed, but that does not take away from you that you are also dealing with this, you have every right to also feel this pain, this emotional rollercoaster and there are places you can go to ask for support too. Google is a scary place, and most of us are guilty of using google to scare the living daylights out of ourselves!! Don't be afraid to cry in front of your Mum, you don't have to bottle it all up, and just being there to talk things through with her, as and when she wants to. it may be hard to hear sometimes but if she knows she can talk with you will help her too.

Take Care and please feel free to message me if you need to talk.