Cancer Research UK main site

Advice please.

Jas2016
Offline

Hi, my partners ex has just told him she has cancer. She has said it's in the lymph nodes. She has told her 3 children that she is dying because she has cancer. 
 

she has been known to lie about things before and it's not making sense. 
 

shw has said that she has been told that she has cancer and that she could have weeks to live. Her youngest who is my partners daughter, is obviously upset and we are trying to help her. 
 

since asking questions we have been told that she has had no tests to say if it's cancer. She cannot have any tests or operations because of where it is. She has said that the lump has doubled in size and so that's why she has weeks to live. 
 

We have so many questions. Can you be told by your gp that you have cancer without any tests done. Can you be told that it's in such a place, in the lymph nodes that she could be paralysed from any form of tests or operation? 
 

she has said she has to wait 2 weeks before seeing the doctor again who will then tell her how long for definite she will live for. 
 

she has said this before and that she had stage 1 brain cancer to some people then others she said was stage 4 but made a complete recovery. 
 

we are so confused as we are trying to help her daughter but have no answers as she is contradicting herself so much. 
 

any advice on how this works would be great. 'Covid' is meaning appointments are done over the phone ‍♀️‍♀️

  • Offline

    Hi,

    I can't comment on an individuals case but I have just had lymph node removal surgery. Before this surgery I had attended the doctor then referred to hospital. In the hospital I had numerous tests ie blood tests, heart test, ct scans, mammograms etc. Then I got a diagnosis.. From here I then got dye injected into lymph nodes to give a clear indication of what was going on and then an operation . All these tests took place over 4 weeks.

    I find it strange that a doctor can diagnose this outcome without having any hospital tests. 

  • Offline

    I doubt any dr can tell you or would tell you how long you have to live, without any tests. I'm sure it would be an impossible task. They would need to ascertain the grade/stage, where else it has spread to and that would involve scans etc 

  • Offline in reply to Hopeoverfear

    Hi, 

     

    thank you so much for your reply and sorry you have been though all this. 
     

    she has now changed her diagnosis to brain cancer but as yet has had no tests for this. My partner has now said he will go with her to next appointments if she wishes so that she isn't on her own. She has agreed to this but apparently did that last time then didn't tell him when the tests were. 
     

    I know it's horrible to not believe such a diagnosis and equally as horrible to lie over having cancer if you haven't, it's just she has lied so much in the past and now changed from lymph node to brain cancer. 

  • Offline in reply to Jas2016

    Hi

    Oh my....this doesn’t ring true at all. You cannot and would not be told you have cancer with no diagnostic tests. A gp would not tell you this, nor would a gp tell you that you have to wait 2 weeks and then you will be told how long you have to live.

    I suspect that she will tell you next that because of Covid she needs to attend appointments alone. That would actually be correct. 

    What I think is especially sad is that she has told her children she is dying because she has cancer. And she has a lump that is brain cancer?? But she already made a complete recovery from stage 4 brain cancer? 

    You may be surprised at how many people lie about having cancer. It happens a lot. I’m sorry you are having to deal with all the upset this is causing...but frankly none of what she is saying sounds right in any way. 

     

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.