I am so sorry for the loss of your brother, and the news of your husband, what an awfully sad time for you all. My husband also has stage four oesophageal cancer, his has spread to his lung and chest lymph nodes. He is having chemotherapy and is actually doing well so far, eating ok, no stent yet, and is in good spirits. Sadly there are many on here suffering with this very cruel illness. If you search at the top, with 'oesophageal' it will bring up many previous posts, which I have found so helpful during the initial diagnosis stage, when everything is overwhelming and feels hopeless. I found there is hope, help, and lots of support. Wishing you all the best and lots of luck to your husband for his treatment x

My oh my jules, 

Your events read as a seriously'bad day'. I soooo feel for you. What can I say. Nothing that will make it any better. You let those tears flow.

There are soooo many oesophageals on here (hi Daisy). I really do wonder what on earth is going on. We only joined 'the club' in late july. With young kids too.The oesophageals on here are a mixture of good and , well not so good outcomes. There are a few who are several years into a stage 4 'palliative' diagnosis, so coming on , you will find some fellow travellers.

Don't worry about 'how to feel', just let it come and go. You will process it all at some point, dust yourself down and carry on - I mean what on earth else can any of us do! Daisy has posted previously about 'what not to say to cancer sufferers' it cracked my up, laugh out loud job, so even in the darkest of times there are glimmers.

Don't get bogged down in the 'coping' and 'staying strong' words. I have never understood what on earth they mean or look like. All I know is human emotions are with us all and there is certainly no such thing as 'normal' . 
Best wishes