Hello Everybody,

I've been coming to this site daily since my cancer journey began in November and have found it a great comfort to read so many of your stories of bravery and hope. I would like to share my story so far of my ups and downs.

Back in late October I went to visit the doctor as I had found a suspicious breast lump, after a brief examination I was told not to be worried as she assumed it was a fatty lump. I was told if it changes in the next few months then I should come back..

A few days later I was sat at my desk and something just didn't feel right so I called the doctor and said I wasn't happy to wait for a 'few months' and that I wanted a referal to the breast clinic.  She agreed (relcuctantly) and I was sent a letter for an appointment in the post a few days later. 

17th November - The day of the appointment at the breast clinic.

First I was met by the wonderful breast care nurses who examined me. They couldn't really find the lump on examination but as they pressed the area of concern it  was tender so they said they would do a mamogram.  I had the mamogram which didn't show any area of concern.. Then I was asked to have an ultrasound just to be on the safe side.

During the ultrasound they found a small area of distortion but still couldn't be sure what it was, so they went to get one of the breast surgeons who came in to have a look, he advised that the radiologist took a biopsy of the said area. Now I was starting to panic and think something may be sinister! But before the biopsy they wanted me to have another scan on another machine called a Tomosynthesis machine.  I had that then went back to the ultrasound room to have the biopsy x 3 on said area.

After I was taken into a room where they gave me some leaflets on breast cancer and was told to return 1 week later to get my results.

I got back into my car and cried my eyes out, this was suddenly now becoming very real.  When I got home I started googling and found you guys on this site. 

I went through so many emotions - mainly of fear and dying and thinking i'd never see my children grow up and I hadn't even been diagnosed.

Results day 23rd November: 

It felt I was waiting for a lifetime to be seen by the breast care team and when my name was called I was taken into a small room.  The nurse came in and said we were just waiting for the senior surgeon and another consultant, I then knew it was going to be bad news as there was unlikely to be such an entourage for a negative result. They then delivered the devastating news that I did in fact have breast cancer. I can not begin to tell you how frightend I was but the team reasurred me that the cancer I had was treatable and was small.

They had provisionally booked me in for surgery on the 9th Dec but first I was to have an MRI scan before surgery. Luckily I had this the next day 24th Nov.

I had a 1cm grade 1 ER & PR Positive tumor that would be removed by lumpectomy, radiation and 5/10 years on Tamoxifen. I left feeling positive and I knew I could beat this hiddeous thing inside me.

24th Nov: MRI scan.All went well and was told to expect results in 5 days.

27th Nov: Consultant calls me at 6pm to tell me the results of the MRI scan which has unfortunatly shown a large area 7cm of enharcement which means my surgery on the 9th will have to be cancelled so they can first investigate this new area of concern. That night I didn't sleep a wink and had now convinced myself that I was in real trouble.  I was then due back at the breast clinic where I was to undergo a fan biopsy.

4th Dec: Day of fan biopsy. All went well but the consultant radiologist who performed the biospy said that the MRI images weren't looking too positive and she said it's 50/50 whether the new area was cancer as well as the 1cm lump i'd already been diagnosed with.  Then I was to wait another agonising week for the results.

During this week i'd convinced myself of the very worst possible outcome and was braced for the news which was coming in a few days time, although strangly i'd come to accept it now...

10th Dec - Results time.... The consultant called me to say that the 7cm Mass results were negative and there was no cancer detected and put it down to hormonal changes in the breast.  I literally could of kissed him, I have never in my life been so happy to receive this news. Now I was ready to take on the 1cm cancer that lurks in my breast.  New surgery date scheduled in for 11th Jan, it's such a long time away but because of COVID and what not it was taking longer than usual.  I was happy with this and managed to enjoy my Christmas.

10th Jan - Sunday morning I went into my cellar and to cut a long story short managed to eletrocute myself very badly on a live wire and was rushed to hospital, consequently my long awaited surgery was now in jepody of being cancelled because of this accident. I came out the same day but was told they didn't want to perform the cancer operation on me because i'd been to A&E and had therefore broken my self isolation before the operation.  To say I was devasted is an understatment!

11th Jan - I speak with the consultant today who tells me that because of the ongoing developing COVID situation he wasn't sure of a new surgery date for me. Now my anxiety is starting to build again and i'm worrying that maybe my cancer will start to spread if I don't get operated on soon.

15th Jan - I take the decision to now go privately and my surgery is now booked in for the 30th Jan fingers crossed, thats if i manage to keep myself alive, lol.

Sorry it's so long and waffley and apologies for the terrible spelling.

Emma xx