Hi, I'm awaiting a diagnosis for bowel cancer, I backed out of a colonoscopy and gastroscopy early Jan as I thought the whole experience was traumatic, I feel in despair now as I've since had a CT scan and MRI scan, found a nodual in my liver and adrenal gland, I just don't know what to think I'm going out of my mind with worry, since booked another endoscopy as I need to know one way or the other dreading it tbh.

Hi there 

bless you I nearly backed out of the colonoscopy and was made to go by my partner so glad I went , as it wasn't as bad as I thought . What symptoms do you have ? 
have you been told you have bowel cancer ? 
The staff at the hospital are so patient you will be fine . Why are you having an endoscopy when you have had CT and MRI can you not just have a colonoscopy? 
 

take care 

AMANDA 

Hi,

I've been searching the web high and low and joined this forum so I could reply to you. I unfortunately are in the same boat, I've just had a colonoscopy which showed I have a tumour on my rectum. I go for a CT on Monday and awaiting an appointment for the MRI then it'll be another wait before I learn my fate. I've convinced myself it's stage 4 and I'm going to die. I can't eat or drink. I'm just so upset I have children and not seeing them grow up is killing me. Sorry to be negative but I've never felt so low in all my life.

How are you doing? x

Hi there 

sorry to hear you are also going through this as well . You will cope with it all stage by stage and get through all that it throws at you . I also worried and found it hard to sleep but am now taking herbal sleep supplements that have helped . My cancer has spread to liver and utretha and cervix and am going to start chemo soon then they will see about hanging operations later on . We just have to take each day at a time and we will get better but it will be a tough journey ahead xxx take care and let me know how you get on x

Hi,

Sorry to hear it's spread. Did they stage you?

My tumour was ( I overheard during my colonoscopy) approx 4cm I've had it for some time with it being that size. 

I've got a CT scan on Monday do they tell you anything or do you have to wait for the MRI results then a consultant meeting? 

It still feels like a bad dream and it's not real, I just want to wake up from it x

 

Hi there, you have the CT scan and you do not get told anything you then go for the MRI and then wait until they book you to see a consultant and specialist nurse, who the. Explain everything to you. 
I didn't ask what stage it was at I think I forgot. 
keep me postedx

I know exactly how you feel, the panic keeps rearing up and I can't stop crying, you just never expect it to be you do you? This forum helps in that we are not alone at this scarey time x

I haven't cried yet as I am so bloody stubborn and don't think I would stop if I started ! I just keep watching loads of stuff on Netflix to keep my mind of it xxx take care and keep me posted it helps to post stuff on here xx

Hi,

Thanks x I don't want to know which stage I am or if it's a low rate success etc because I don't want to live thinking I'm going to die if you know what I mean. My Nanna had throat cancer obviously she knew what she had but didn't want to be told officially, because many years ago most C's were a death sentence. 

You seem so much more upbeat then me, I wish I could be, I'm a wreck. I've not left the house since my colonoscopy, not got dressed or eaten just a chicken sandwich that my husband made me.

Take care x
 

Hi,

Yes I can fully relate. I'm a mess. It did cross my mind when I first got some symptoms but I thought oh it'll be piles and IBS since I've suffered both in the past. Now every ache and pain I'm convincing myself it's spread. 

The forum is a massive help because even though my husband and family are trying their best to support me they don't fully know how I'm feeling. I joined by chance when I googled and this thread came up so I joined x

Hi, it's a very scary time isn't it and hard to be positive. Try to eat though and keep your strength up. You are not alone! X

To be honest with you I found the colonoscopy the worst as hated the drink and camera and felt really weak after it all have just started to feel better enough that I can eat small amounts of food if you do not feel like eating drink smoothies with bananas and ice cream etc you need your energy also take vitamins xx  

To be honest with you I found the colonoscopy the worst as hated the drink and camera and felt really weak after it all have just started to feel better enough that I can eat small amounts of food if you do not feel like eating drink smoothies with bananas and ice cream etc you need your energy also take vitamins xx  

Oh the colonoscopy was so painful for me, I felt every move and the air I think it is was horrible. I had sedation thinking it would be ok and they even gave me some more during the procedure but I was so alert and remember everything. I did mention this and was told it probably didn't work because I was so anxious? I read so many comments that the drink was the worst part it certainly wasn't for me.

My Mum goes for a colonoscopy on Friday I haven't told her how bad it really was it'll only make her more anxious, I just said it wasn't pleasant. They think hers is IBS I wish that was what mine was.

Yes I'm going to try and eat a little more, I'm now scared to go to toilet, I haven't been since my colonoscopy. It's now knowing that there's something definitely there I feel scared to go x

Bless you hope your mum gets on ok  I had sedation and also a top up but felt the discomfort! I do not like to be to far away from the toilet at the minute ! And I only eat very plain food and small amounts xx keep trying to eat a small amount every few hours it will help you I promise xx

Yes I'm going to try. I'm going to go on a short walk with one on my children tomorrow. Just to get some fresh air I'm feeling a bit claustrophobic, plus a little walk will hopefully get my bowels moving. I'm so glad that they're off School at the minute I want to spend every single minute with them, but very worried about our treatment during a pandemic after what I read last time x

Hi, it's a very scary time all round isn't it? All the support we would normally receive from family and friends like hugs chats, meeting up for coffee etc, we aren't allowed to do. I lost my Mum last year and couldn't have a hug or get together afterwards with my siblings, it was just awful! Now I feel that same loss again. Support from loved ones is so important and helps so much. My husband is amazing but he needs support too and he lost his first wife to cancer so I appreciate that this is hard for him too. Hope your Mum goes ok ok on Friday. A very anxious time for you xx

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your Mum. It's horrible isn't it going through the worst time of our lives and we can't see friends and family. My Mum collected me from my colonoscopy and the state I was in she grabbed me for a hug, We'd both had negative covid tests so it was ok, but it's awful that you have to think of that. I lost my Dad to this terrible disease a few years ago so I just knew deep down but before the colonoscopy there was always that glimmer of hope, then my world came crashing down. I keep thinking if only I'd have got screened earlier pre symptoms, now is it too late? The thing what's hurting the most is not seeing my children grow up, they're only young and need both parents x

Hi,

You are really going through it aren't you, I really feel for you. You must be worried for your kids, it's only natural. I am going to be a Grandma in April and all I was focusing on was I hope restrictions are lifted in time for me to be able to go and see the baby. Now all I can think about is am I going to see her grow up., How can life change so much in one day? We have to get through this don't we? Xx

Aww congratulations that's lovely.

I feel like it's a grieving process I'm going through, I didn't get out of bed all weekend, didn't eat anything hardly even had a drink. I've got dressed today for the first time and nipped out with my daughter then treated her to McDonald's. It's hard to face the world when everyone else is just going about their business as normal if you know what I mean.

I agree though we have to fight and get through this for our children/grandchildren/families and ourselves x

Just had an early morning phone call from the MRI department they want me to go for a scan on Sunday. Now I'm even more worried because they've probably received the biopsy results which I'm thinking are showing it's an aggressive tumour. So that's MRI on Sunday and CT less then 24 hours later. I just don't see this ending well for me x

Oh you poor thing, you must be worried sick. Whereabouts in the country are you? Just wonder if they are fairly quiet and therefore doing some catch up appointments? I live in Northumberland and am getting all my scans done extremely quickly and the hospital seems fairly quiet. I had my CT scan this morning at 8.30am and was out for 8.45am. 5 days to wait now to find out if it's spread, it's hell isn't it? Thinking of you and remember to keep us posted xx

How did your scan go? Not sure whether I need to take a dressing gown like I did for my colonoscopy. I know that they don't tell you anything at scans, my MRI is on Sunday afternoon followed by a CT is Monday morning. Yes hell is definitely a word that expresses my feelings right now. I'm from the Yorkshire area. When I've been to hospitals and Doctors recently I've often said I can't believe how quiet it is x