Hi Lagerlime,

I don’t think that any of us expect to find ourselves on a forum like this. The fact that it has helped so many people is testimony to how valuable it is.

I am glad to hear that your skin is slowly returning to normal following radiation. The better weather this week, must have made it easier for you to get out walking again and, I’m sure that you’ll feel all the better for getting some fresh air.

It does seem strange that Cancer treatment has not been prioritised in the same way as the Covid vaccine, but I expect that it all comes down to cost. We haven’t yet heard about the overall cost of the Covid vaccine – we may never hear. Despite the large sums donated to Cancer Research and the unfailing work of our researchers, I doubt that it will ever get it’s hands on a comparable sum to that used for the Covid vaccine and Covid in general.

It is so good that you now feel able to contribute to others on this forum, who are worried about things that you have experienced and, that you can now help them to get through this. I am so sorry to hear about your friend’s metastases. She must have been devastated at the death of her sister-in-law, especially when she knew nothing about the situation beforehand. Life can be so unfair at times, especially with someone so young. I expect that the family never told her because they felt that she had enough to contend with herself.

I sincerely hope that it won’t be too long before we can travel again and, that you and your husband can start to chase the sun once more. I hope that the consultation with your oncologist goes well on 26^th.

Please let us know how it goes.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, 

Hope you had a nice and restful weekend after your busy days during the past week. We are doing good. Yesterday we walked 4 miles with my friend, we take advantage with  the lovely weather yesterday. I feel refreshed after walking that far and so pleased that I slowly back to my old life before the cancer diagnosed. 

I notice that you have been sending thousands of messages since you start joining to  this cancer forum. To be exact you have 5,838 post since 15 July 2010. Wow!! That tells something of your full support to people you’re not familiar with, a real strangers. That’s an amazing effort of you to keep in touch with people who have the same health problem. 

Since I have less things to do at home, I have more time exploring and broaden my knowledge about health and go to reliable websites searching about cancer, stages, diet, etc. So far I’ve been to these websites, CRUK, Breast Cancer Care, McMillan  and Healthline. 

According to these website, recently the survival rate of cancer is higher compared to 40-50 years back. Because of the scientist’s untiring effort and thorough researching of cancer medication to save lives, more and more patients nowadays survive. The study of medication combine with chemotherapy and radiotherapy is really a big  help. 

Now about cancer and sugar. I read a lot of comments from cancer patients here and in the other website/chat forum that once you are diagnose with cancer you should abstain from consuming sugar in your diet as cancer and sugar are not friends. That’s what I did. But, after reading 3 cancer research and health website, abstaining from sugary food is just a myth. There is no proof that sugar can make the cancer cells grow. In fact, our body cells - good cells and cancer cells need glucose as our body need this for our energy. 

I am a person who are not fond of eating sweets or sugary food. For about 3 or 4 years now that I use sweetener in my tea and coffee. I don’t eat chocolate,ice cream, cakes and pudding (I make most of our pudding) I always put less sugar in it, I did not follow the exact measurement of sugar on the recipe. While my husband has “sweet tooth”.. He drink tea 8-10 cups a day with 1 teaspoon of sugar each cup of tea, plus he have stock of magnum ice cream in the freezer and he love eating chocolate. He smoke a lot and now drink beer moderately at home because pubs here are still close. But it’s me have breast cancer. I realise it’s silly of not eating food with sugar. I would not be of balance diet if I completely abstain from eating sweet food. Now I slowly having back to a match box size of brownies once a day. Too much of everything is bad for you, but in moderation you’ll get a good and healthy diet. 

I remember your story about your great uncle. He drunk like a fish and smoke pipe like a lum but he live 95 years old longer than his wife. Sometimes life is not fair. In my adulthood I am always watching my diet but I got high blood pressure, osteoarthritis and now cancer, while my husband is generally healthy. Bless him. 

You got the point that my friend’s in laws did not informed them about her husband’s sister died recently of stage 4 breast cancer because she has too much already to deal with her own cancer. She sent me a photo through messenger and she completely lost her hair because of 6 session of chemotherapy. Same story  with me, I did not tell my friend that last November I was diagnosed with BC. So it is understandable that the plight of her sister in law has been kept from her until she passed away. 

I get strength from your story how you deal with your cancer and other health issues and survive. You give me hope and you are my inspiration to carry on with my long journey. Thank you for sharing me your experience, it mean a lot to me. I am 64 next month. I wish I will live many years or beyond my targeted treatment of up to 5 years of Tamoxifen and that will be a bonus to me. Only God knows.

We do hope too that we can travel for holiday in the not too distant future but it looks like there is a threat for third wave of covid-19 in European countries. As of now we don’t have plan to go holiday outside the UK. We are looking for “staycation” but hotels around the UK is very expensive. Your one week staycation  you can spend that for 2 weeks holiday in abroad. So let’s see what we can do. For now, just follow the guidelines and keep safe while we are both waiting for our second covid vaccine. 

Have a lovely week my dear Jolamine. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my message. You are always prompt in answering my message, I’m not. Sorry.   

Best wishes and Big hugs. 

LL2011

Hi Lagerlime,

I am delighted to hear that you and your friend managed to walk 4 miles in the lovely weather yesterday. It is so good when you begin to get back to normal routine. Unfortunately, we had a rather upsetting weekend when my best friend lost her husband due to long Covid – so sad.

I am glad to hear that you are looking at some of the more reputable cancer sites. Cancer diagnosis, treatments and after care have all improved tremendously in the past few years. My Mum was diagnosed with primary breast cancer 35 years ago. She had this for 12 years before she was diagnosed with metastasis in brain, bones, liver and lungs. When I look back and compare the treatment I’ve had, I realise just how far we have advanced.

Diagnosis was very basic and her breast cancer was never broken down into type or grade. She had a mastectomy, followed by radiotherapy. Her post-surgery scarring was not a pretty sight. She had some terrible burns from her radiotherapy and she never had a breast care nurse to contact at any time. Her after care was non-existent and it wasn’t until her pain became unbearable, that we discovered her secondary cancer. There was no choice of prosthesis, bras, post-surgical clothing, etc. Sometimes, we just don’t realise how lucky we are now to have all of these things in place.

You are fortunate that you don’t have a sweet tooth – this has always been one of my downfalls! As you say, you need a well-balanced diet to live a healthy life, so it’s all a case of balance. Maybe one day scientists will be able to warn us from birth if we have genetic failings that could lead to future health problems, but. At the moment, it is still a lottery and our long term outcomes don’t always show those of us who live a clean life and have a healthy diet to have the best of health.

I am so glad to hear that you got some strength from how I’ve dealt with my health issues. I see no reason why you cannot live way past your 5 years of treatment. Having a positive attitude that this will be the case, can add many years to your life. You will find that surrounding yourself by positive people can be a big help too – you don’t need negative people in your life.

Much as we would love to see some sun this year, I fear that we will be staying in the UK. It still seems as if there might be a need to quarantine in a hotel upon return and, this could be more costly than the holiday abroad. With so many people staying in the UK again, no doubt prices will be higher than ever.

As I’ve said before, there is never any hurry to reply to me. I try to reply as quick as I can, because I might otherwise overlook some replies. Here’s hoping that the good spell of weather continues this week and you can get out for more walks. I managed to get some flower seeds planted on Saturday, so my greenhouse is pretty full at the moment.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

Hope all is well with you and have a good weekend. 

So sorry to hear about your “upsetting weekend” last week when your best friend lost her husband due to covid. This is what we are discussing about in our previous letters. When it’s your time we cannot alter the circumstances. I know how she feel right now. I hope your friend will  start to move on with her life without her beloved husband. So sorry for her loss. 

Before covid-19 back in 2018, my 2 best friends lost their husbands in just 3 months gap. One of them is the one with me walking last Sunday. Her husband had oesophageal cancer. Because of his age 86 (they have many years age gap) his treatment offered was radiotherapy not chemo. After a couple of months after the therapy he died of side effect of the radiation. The soft tissue of his lungs has been damage that made his lungs shrunk and that cause of his death.  My other best friend the husband died of his long illness of diabetes and he died of complication. I feel sorry for my friends and I know the feelings because I’ve been through that situation before so as much as I can I gave them my full support. 

I am really sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis and treatment which in completely far behind of what we’ve experience with our recent treatment. When I went back to the breast clinic to see my doctor after the biopsy, after a short briefing expalining that I have breast cancer and offered treatment of lumpectomy and radiotherapy, the nurse handed me a lot of brochures to read. 

1. A folder - Primary breast cancer information pack. Inside of it are; a) About breast cancer, b)Your diagnosis, c)Having treatment, d)Wellbeing and Practical Issues.. e) NHS Breast Screening... Then I’ve got individual brochures such as... 

2. Your breast Clinic Appointment..  3. Your Operation and Recovery... 4. Reducing the Risk of Lymphoedema... 5. Tamoxifen... 6. MacMillan- Holistic Needs Assissment... 7. NHS Nuclear Medicine Scan...  and finally number 8. Finishing Your Radiotherapy Treatment.. plus I got 2 calling cards from breast clinic and Macmillan with the nurse’s name on it, just in case I need to speak to them they are there for me. So much information that before my breast operation I am already aware the ups and downs of having cancer and treatment. 

All are very well organised and all treatment and after care all improved tremendously. Since my diagnosed I’ve met a lot of people, they are all lovely and very helpful and put you at ease when you are a bit nervous. We are indeed fortunate that we are well look after by the NHS staffs compared to your mum’s time when after care does not exist. So sad. 

I spoke to my oncologist on Friday a phone call appointment, she asked how I get on after 5 weeks I finished the 5 sessions of radiotherapy. Because the skin on my breast started to settled and everything with me is fine, I’m okay with Tamoxifen, she discharged me from the Radiographer/Oncology department in hospital and she will inform my surgeon in breast clinic that I’m okay, so they can arrange me a mammogram later this year. Then if any problem arises in the future concerning with my recent treatment,  I will contact my GP not the hospital. If it is serious that needs medical attention, my GP will refer me to the hospital straightaway. 

I know you support a lot of cancer patients here in this forum and now I understand why I will get a prompt reply from you. Thank you, very much appreciated! It is always good to help other patients and give them hope and encouragement especially those newly diagnosed with cancer.  My treatment are all done and my emotion started to go back to normal and start planning what to do in the future but it’s not 100% that I am totally healed and cancer free. That’s why I said previously that I wish I can live a bit longer or beyond my 5 years of Tamoxifen because I have underlying health issues. Thinking positive and living a balance healthy life is what I am aiming right now and that possibly help with my full recovery. 

I was not able to walk today as the weather did not permit. Very windy and cold here since yesterday with drizzle scattered all over the places. But I manage to walk 3 x during the week days. 

This is all for now. Take care and keep safe. 

LL2011

Hi Lagerlime,

You are so right. Many of us worry about a cancer diagnosis, yet we are often taken by something totally unrelated. Unfortunately my friend has to wait for a death certificate until after a post-mortem is carried out. This is scheduled for 15^th April, so it looks as if we’ll have a month to wait until the funeral. I am so sorry to hear about your two best friends losing their husbands so soon after one another. The situation throughout the past year can’t have helped them in trying to move on. Having been through the same situation yourself, I’m sure that you’re a great support to both of them.

Yes it’s amazing the difference in treatment nowadays. My poor mum was never given any details other than that she had breast cancer – no mention of grade, type, BRCA status, etc. She was given no information leaflets. There was no internet to look at. She had a mastectomy, then radiotherapy, which burned her badly. There was no aftercare after that. We really are fortunate that we are fighting our battles, when there is so much more information and support.

I’m glad to hear that your skin is settling down now. It sounds as if your oncologist is quite happy with the way you are doing, but it’s reassuring that she is referring you for a mammogram later in the year. It is great to know that your emotions are gradually getting back to being more normal. I don’t expect that you’ll ever feel 100% the same, as a cancer diagnosis changes us all. Despite your other health problems, there is no reason why you won’t live way past the five years that you’re taking Tamoxifen. Think positive. You can and you will live longer than this.

You’ve done well to get out for a walk 3 times this week. The weather here over the weekend has not been encouraging to getting outside. We have had high winds and heavy rain. Still, it is forecast to be much better next week, so here’s hoping.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx