Hi, sorry to hear of your situation.  Did they tell you why she has only months to live if it is in her lymph nodes?  Surely if she has chemo this would extend her life?

Thank you for replying, all I know at the moment is what mum has told me. She said they've said radiotherapy is no longer an option but they want to try a new chemotherapy treatment.  Everything I've read indicates chemo doesn't prolong life in vaginal cancer and is rarely used on its own. 
Mum told me that the consultant has said if it's spread to her lymph nodes (which they are 90% sure it has from her ct and mri scans) that she has only months left.  My dad told me that when they mentioned they had concert tickets to see Alfie Boe in December (the only thing my mum wants to do) they didn't look hopeful. 
Mum and Dad don't live locally and I have tried to contact Mum's CNS but haven't been able to speak to her. 
My sister is going with my Mum to receive the results of her PET scan so Hopefully we can clarify a few things then. 
I should add that my Mum has had symptoms for years looking back and has only been diagnosed due to her bleeding being unmanageable. I think (reading between the lines) that the consultant is shocked that mum has managed the symptoms and pain for so long before being diagnosed. I should also add that I think Mum has masked symptoms and self medicated for a long long time. It also came to light after I'd posted on Monday that mum is now experiencing urinary incontence, when mum mentioned this to the consultant she was told this is because the tumour is blocking her bladder so it does sound very advanced. 
We are just all in absolute shock and devastation at the moment and trying to get our heads around the fact she may not have long left with us. 

Hi

Sorry to read your post.

You said 'try a new chemo' as in a trial?

I hope the new chemo works well, my friend was given 3 months without chemo and 6 with for her breast cancer, she was put on a new chemo and is still stable 3 years on.

x

Mum said to me 'it's a relatively new chemo' so that's literally all I know as neither myself or my sister have been able to speak to her consultant or CNS since she saw them on Monday. 
I do know the tumour is very very large, they couldn't do the biopsy at first because it was blocking her vagina so much and mum has said she feels pressure on both her bladder and bowels from it (she's had part of her bowel removed 6 years ago due to suspected diverticulitis and has a stoma bag) but she's obviously still feeling pressure there.  We are wondering now if it perhaps wasn't diverticulitis then but the start of this? My sister said my mum was definitely having bleeding then because she had to buy sanitary pads for her.  When my sister questioned this, mum said it was just post menopausal bleeding. 
I think we are feeling guilty for not picking up on The signs earlier and accepting her reasons for our concerns. We just can't believe how bad it is and how long she's obviously left it before seeking help. 

Your poor mum.  My mum has stage 3 colon cancer and is very depressed.  It is so sad to see my mum who was so strong all her life, become so fragile.  She was a nurse too all her life.  It is so unfair.  
Make sure you make the most of every minute you have with her.  And the chemo could prolong her life more than you think, as it has in some other people on this site with stage 4 and have lived beyond their "life expenctany".

I wish you the very best x

Hi

my mum lost her battle against vulva cancer in may this year. Wondering if anyone else is on a similar situation x