Hello.
Today my world has gone wonky. My stepdad went through a triple heart bypass in July this year as his stents failed. He recovered well from that, but around a month after, he had issues pooping. He became constipated, and the doctor dismissed it as post surgery side effects.
End of October, he still hadn't managed to go toilet. He was beginning to suffer with pain. Again, the doctor dismissed him and said take paracetamol.
He wasn't able to do normal things except sit there. Sleep was impossible. Heated blanket and hot water bottle eased it a little bit. When his clothes got too big for him he went to tue doctors and said something needs to be done. He is barely eating, sleeping, and just unhappy as in pain all the time. So they finally sent him for a colonoscopy. They couldn't fully perform the procedure and stated there was no cancer seen, but were referring him to get a ct scan.
That appointment came through 3 days later which was this Monday. While they were scanning his tummy they said we might as well scan your chest too. He suffers from copd too. I took him, and took him home.
Today is Tuesday, well early hours of Wednesday now, and the results from the ct scan are in. Cancer. In the liver, lungs and pancreas. And its stage 4. They have offered chemo but the dr advised against it and instead has offered palliative care.
I'm angry, sad, scared, and keep crying randomly.
I need to be strong for my mum. But I'm falling apart.
He prepared himself for a diagnosis of bowel cancer as that what the dr kept saying. And I researched bowel cancer thoroughly. But I have no idea where to start with multiple cancers as I'm still processing this.
How do I cope and come to terms with this? How do I help my stepdad and mum? He's worried about leaving my mum and I've told him ill move home so shes not alone. He also said to me he's not set up a funeral plan as wasn't planning on dying until 75 (he's 68). Again I said to him not to panic about that, I've got that covered. And I have. I've got the funds to pay for his funeral.
Should I tell him to try chemo in the hope it shrinks the cancer a bit and maybe extend his life or is that selfish because its just prolonging the inevitable?
Sorry its so long, I have literally nobody else to talk to and don't know what to do. Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you x
