Hello Dxdbx and welcome to Cancer Chat.

I'm very sorry to hear of your relative's diagnosis and the decision they've made. No doubt it must have been very tough to receive this news but I'm sure they thought everything through before coming to this decision.

As every person's journey is different it's very difficult to say how long they may have left without treatment but if you're able to get your relative's permission you should be able to discuss this with their medical team or doctor. Our team of cancer nurses are available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m if you'd like to talk things through with them as well.

Sadly the pandemic has had a huge impact on everyone on their cancer journeys including many of our members here on the forum so I'm sure those who are in similar position will offer their support and advice to you soon.

I know there isn't much I can say that will make this situation any better but I want you to know you are not alone and our community are here for you.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Dbx, 

welcome to our 'oesophageal club' - one you'd rather not be a member of , no doubt, but here we all are.

Belive it or not there are LOADs of us in this club on here. I only joined in August, after my husbands diagnosis.

Sounds like your relative is pretty cue'd up about the whole thing and I salute the guy for his choice.

As for meeting up - you are allowed to form a compassionate/ caring bubble with someone, you are also allowed to visit people for caring purposes. I think I know what my action would be, but I can't'advise' others really. I think we have to look at the risks and benefits and make our own informed decision.

As for how long he has left. That is the million dollar question. None of us know how long we have.. it is almost an unanswerable question, could be years. I suppose that old saying of "live everyday like it is you last", is so very true. It is not the time we have left it is what we do with it.......

best wishes H

Thankyou. I know it can be a difficult question to answer but I wasn't sure if anyone would know the timescale from stage 3 to stage 4 without treatment or if everyone is different in that respect. I guess I'm just clutching at straws as I can't form a bubble etc, travel is too far and actually banned at the moment. It's my dad, I haven't seen him for over a year as it is and now this.

Hi, 

you aren't clutching at straws, you are trying to process and make sense (!) of a nightmare situation.

The question is impossible to answer on several levels, no one knows how 'quick' they have progressed from, 1-2-3-4. But there is guy on here that has been stage 4 for years. In the elderly cell growth is slower, but how much slower , who knows!
i think I would still do what I would do yesterday- no, I know I would do it .........people could call me what they liked, but somethings are just more important!
couldn' t you and your dad form a bubble?