Hi there and welcome ...

I had a grade 3 breast cancer in 2017 .... and total right masectomy ... for me the hardest part was the wait, where you are now ... it felt in those early days like jumping out of a plane not knowing if the parashoot would open ... looking back the op it's self was the easiest part ( for me) as only needed a paracetamol for pain .... as was amazed how little pain from a big scar ... but others have said the same .

More like an ache under armpit ... movement of that arm was limited .. but gentle exercises help lots .. I didn't need chemo and declined radio as I have lots of arthritis etc ... though my untie a few months later, did have radio after her masectomy and apart from needing to have an afternoon nap, was fine ...but must say every ones expierance is different .... as treatments are many and varied ..

I found a sense of humour got me through ... you wanted a funny story ... here's one of mine ... about a month after my op , I had my 5 year old granddaughter to stay ... she sat on my lap watching t.v .. my falsey slipped so I was adjusting it .. quick as a flash , she turned round pulled my tee shirt away to see what I was doing ... she saw my scar .. and yelled ... " nanny how are you gonna feed babies now!!!" 

It's like a rollercoaster of emotions ... and I'm betting you will get them ... positive one minute and then scared the next ... so whatever you feel go with it ... it's o.k to feel scared or cry ... and it's o.k to laugh at something that's funny ... it will get you through ... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

Hi Chrissie - thanks for your reply.  The bit with your granddaughter made me giggle, so thank you for that :-) 

I'm not having the full breast off - just lumpectomy surgery, and I've chosen to have the radiotherapy treatment, so I guess it's just waiting to see what the outcome is.

I'm still unsure whether or not to tell my friends about this - my immediate family are aware and are being supportive, but I feel that because it's such a small lump it's not really worth making a point of mentioning.  If I'm having a conversation with a friend, I'll probably let them know, but it's not something I'm going out of my way to tell.  Is that daft of me?  It's not something I want to hide from - I'll deal with this like I've dealt with everything in my life (up and at 'em!), but I sometimes feel like I'm making a bit of a fuss over nothing.  Am I being daft?  I'd appreciate your thoughts on this.

And a virtual hug is coming right back at you :-)

Have a great day

Fi xx

Hi there ..

Well it's a bit of a dilema really ... it depends what your friends are like ... what got me was when they pulled the O M G sympathy look ( which is not their fault) and as I was feeling stronish I felt like saying ... I'm not dead yet ... but l didn't ... I can understand why ... 

You need empathetic buddies ... those that won't fall to pieces ... I took more time ashoring family , I was o.k and ready for the journey with my boxing gloves on ... and I found if people see your in control .... even if you ain't.... it makes it easier for them ... but deff tell someone at work you trust ...

Like you said it's not always the size of the lump ... there's loads of factors ... so think it in BALANCE... it's deff serious but treatments have come a long way ... I've had mine , my untie had the same and my nephew developed breast cancer to ... wer all still here a few years down the line ... wer not so much family now ... more BREAST friends ... as we call our selfs... 

So my hunny ... treat it with respect ... acknolage what it is, and don't underestimate it ... you have the right attitude ... and it will see you through ... but never think it's just a tiny lump ... I'm here most days if you have any questions ... or want to vent or chat ...  so keep safe and I'm sending you a pair of pink vertual boxing gloves.... put them on get in the ring ... there's loads of us there ... your not alone .. 

I even told my little granddaughter that nanny was very poorly ... but the Drs were going to TRY to make me better ... so go with your gut feeling about people ... Chrissie x

Hi .... like you I got told in sept I had two types of breast cancer .... lump was 3 .6cms  I had it removed in October but sadly it seems I have fallen through a loop and been forgotten I chased things ... so my radiotherapy starts 18th feb! Going for ct scan next week ... did you have one ? I am currently working from home as my doctor told me if I caught covid I wouldn't be able to finish my cancer treatment , which is obv true ! Did the nurse say why you had to stay off after all this time ? Hope you don't mind me asking nor messaging ..... I am finding cancer very lonely despite having a family and friends .... they don't understand how it really feels ! I am fed up with putting on this strong front when I want to just run away and cry .... trouble is what I am running away from is still there even if I did .... as it's me I want to run from !!! 

Hi - saw your message to another person and hopes you didn't mind me adding in my bit ! I was diagnosed with  2 types of breast cancer .... grade 2 in sept .... lumpectomy in Oct .... still waiting for my radiotherapy... due to some how being missed it seems ???? Anyhoo don't start me on that ! Ct scan next week then radiotherapy starts on 18th..... I see you are a few years out and have family members who have also had it .... do u have any tips / techniques about how to move forward ? I have been super strong ... showing this front but inside I am scared it will return .... it's the first think I think of when I open my eyes in the morning and I don't sleep well due to it all going around in my head ! I reached out to a charity and was going to join an online coffee .... then I heard nothing , I don't know where to turn , I am grateful it was all removed ( the cancer ) but the scares run deeper ! Any suggestions please? Thank you x

Hi All,

I am so sorry that you all feel so upset about your diagnosis and are letting this take over your lives. My good friend Chrissie has given you all the benefit of her experience, all of which I agree with. 

Getting a cancer diagnosis is always scary, no matter how small or aggressive the cancer turns out to be. Even after successful treatment has been carried out, there is always the fear of a new cancer or spread of the existing one. Having had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 11 years, I know that this can be scary, but this is something that we all have to learn to live with.

We have to stand up to cancer and not let it take over our lives. We only get one life and need to live it to the full. You will find that a positive attitude is the best tool you have in fighting this disease. This is not just in your attitude, but in that of your family and friends. How family and friends react to your diagnosis, often depends upon how you yourself break the news to them. 

I am not saying that this is easy - it certainly isn't, but it can be done. We still need to be realistic about our individual diagnoses, put it down to one of the many knocks that life deals us and get on with our lot. Try Chrissie's analogy of pink boxing gloves at the ready, with all of us cancer pilgrims backing your corner. Most of us CAN and WILL beat this.

Thinking of you all and wishing you a Happy and Fulfilled life.
Kindest regards,

Jolamine xx