Hi, I'm really sorry about your mum, it's an awful time and can't be easy for you.  I don't know if this will help, but I had a similar experience with my dad.  We were super close, and he meant everything to me.  He was diagnosed with Sarcoma cancer but by the time he was diagnosed it was too late.  He lasted 6 weeks and passed away 2 weeks before Christmas in 2005.  It still haunts me to this day as i held his hand all throughtout his treatments, until his last moment with us.  Crying isnt a sign of weakness and it's healthy to show the ones you love honest emotions. There are no magic words of comfort unfortunately and i really wish there was.  Just being with your mum when she needs you is all any mum could wish for.  I would like to say that things will get easier with time but i can't because i'm still waiting, i think we either adapt or life just feels different, i can't really explain it.  The only advice i can offer is, to talk to your mum openly and honestly of how you are feeling.  As a mother myself, i have just been diagnosed with bowel cancer and can honestly say hand on heart say that we just want to be treated the same way as before we were ever diagnosed.  To keep the same humour and open chat and not walk on eggshells around us.  I'm not sure if this helps, but please know you are not alone and we are all here to support with you with however you are feeling or going through.  Please take care of yourself.

Thank you so much for your lovely message that was just what I needed to hear. Everything you said makes so much sense and I am sorry to hear about your dad, to have bowel cancer also is just terrible and cruel. I hope you and your family are staying safe in these dreadful times. Have they managed to remove the tumour in the bowel and have a treatment plan for you. Colorectal care is my speciality as a Nurse so please remember if you need anything please don’t hesitate to message me.