I have been diagnosed with a colorectal tumour. I had a CT scan and today I've been told it shows the cancer has spread to my liver and lung. I am distraught.
l am very sorry to hear of your diagnosis,but do not lose sight of the fact that you only have half the story at the moment and try not to get ahead of yourself.Although you are now aware of the problems,you have still to hear of the solutions that further tests will provide..l know its easy to say this,and much harder to do,since we always head for the extreme scenario rather than the balanced middle of the road approach,but the last thing you need currently is to pile extra pressure and stress upon yourself, goodness knows you have enough already.
l had a bowel tumour that subsequently decided to go an a vacation to my liver,despite my fears l have emerged in full health on the other side.l will not claim it was an easy journey,or a quick one,but one that was possible,aided by the incredible health professionals and the advances made in successful treatments against this unwelcome intruder of peoples lives.
My advice to you would be the same as l gave to myself, at the outset you cannot change what is,you can affect how you deal with it,the only things you can bring to the party is a quiet stubborn determination and reduced stress level,. Show positivity,trust, and use the medical professionals expertise to the full,they will reciprocate. Maintain focus and never turn away any help.Give despair no place of residence in your mind,never lose sight of the fact that losing a battle is not the same as winning the war.
You are at the start of a long struggle,arm yourself with all the positivity you can muster and use allies wherever you can find them,and when the darkness descends around you,keep seeing and heading for that spot of shining light in the far distance, who can know where it will take you ?
David - thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I am in a very dark place right now - cant sleep or eat and obviously in shock. Have yet to tell my three daughters who are spread all over the world and UK. I do have a wonderful husband but he isn't coping well either. At what point did you tell your friends and family? I cant bear the way people treat you differently even though I know the are trying to help. At the moment I resent people telling me to be positive as I dont feel anything positive right now. I know your advice is right and as you say the waiting is interminable and you've given me a glimmer of hope that the medics can do something to help me. I am grateful to talk to someone who has been there. Thank you Linda
l have to say l recognise all what you write,and can fully understand your state of mind.For my part l recognised fairly early on in the process that l would need to clear my decks in order to deal with this.The biggest thing for me was the acceptance that the likelyhood was that my cancer would kill me,which took a great weight of my shoulders and allowed me to focus going forward,l never once looked backwards from this point.That left my mind free of a negative anchor that would have dragged me down,so l could concentrate on the positives l had left,l was surprised just how many there were if you allow the space for them to reside, even at the darkest of times. With this,people urging positivity washed over me since l was already doing it for myself,so it never rankled.l am not saying my way was right,only in the sense that you need to find your personal comfortable space to allow yourself the best possible outcome.You are about to face a raft of intimidation with facts arising from your diagnosis,and it is helpful if you can have a clear and settled mind allowing you to understand the future implications of your treatment..For myself,l told all around me immediatley of my diagnosis,releasing just one more potential stress factor from my mind,and could move on,importantly for me,going forwards not milling around in a constant circle.
l resolved that l would not allow my enemy one ounce of comfort by playing into its hands by doing anything that would weaken,damage or place increased stress upon my body,and that it would need a whole lot more than it had originally turned up with ,if it were to carry the day.
l hope you can find what works for you,and my biggest recommendation is to get in touch with your nearest Maggies Centre because these places are a sea of tranquility,surrounded by people who really know what you are feeling,do not tell you how its done,no pressure,no right or wrong,non judgemental, but help you to find your way of dealing with an horrendous position,closest thing to living angels,hopefully you can find this out for yourself.
Take care Linda,l along with so many others on this site will always be here to offer whatever little we can to make your journey easier for you to navigate,
Hello am sorry to hear about your situation am in the same boat on the 27/11/20 I had a ct scan and that day told me to come back said I had a tumour in bowl and lump on live iv had a Biopsy done and then yesterday got told got to have a stoma bag fitted on Monday am only 35 with two young girls been hard coming to terms with it but we in best hands just keep ur chin up we can get though this
Hello Mick - I'm so sorry for us both. It's such a huge shock and so lonely inside yourself especially at night. Not knowing what will happen and looking at our families with a sickening feeling. Somehow it seems we have to poke our heads up our of the abyss. You are a young man too but that should be in your favour. I am just 69 but have my first and only grandson born in Australia - 4 weeks old and thinking I may never meet him but something worth fighting for. All the best to you and your family Linda
You are absolutely right I need to clear my decks but am not able to accept this will probably finish me off as yet. I have now told my 3 daughters the situation and decided to do what you did and tell the rest of our family and friends far and wide because that is indeed adding more stress to both me and George. We go for little walks to stop dwelling on this indoors and dread meeting friends and having to pretend all is well and dread answering the phone too. So giving this enemy permission to wreck what is left of my life. I hope to be able to hold it together at the first professionals meeting as I totally agree that they will react better to someone who seems to be able to cope with potential treatments. I'm pretty strong physically but always rather emotional and right now a wet blob! I'm just terrified that they might say they cant do anything apart from palliative care. That's why I know I'm not anywhere near acceptance. I see there is a Maggie's Centre at the hospital where I'm ultimately going so George and I thought we'd go next week b4 my MRI scan. With Covid I dont know if they'll see us both though.
