Hi Paige,

The question you ask is impossible for us to answer on your mum's behalf. Some people do decide that they have had enough and don't want to prolong life without any quality. Others will try anything regardless of the side-effects. This is something that only your mum can decide, as she has to live with the consequences. Has she had an in-depth conversation with her consultant about her prognosis and, about how much more time this will buy her?  She may still find herself on Morphine to control pain, despite declining other treatment, so again discuss this with some of her care team. 

It is so difficult for cancer patients going through all of this on their own due to the current pandemic. It might be worth discussing this with her breast care nurse and asking if you could attend a consultation to discuss this. If this is not possible, perhaps you could both have a phone consultation. Naturally, your mum would have to give her permission for her carers to discuss her case with you, but provided that she is happy to do this, this shouldn't be a problem. All you can do is to find out as much as you can about her condition to help her to make an informed choice.

It is still good news that they feel that treatment could help her, but sometimes this comes at too high a cost to her general well-being.

My mum had metastic breast cancer which had spread to her liver, lungs, brain and bone. At that time no treatment was offered for secondary cancers and she suffered with these until the end. It was an extremely harrowing time for all of us, but by the end, we were relieved for her to be rid of all her suffering. 

Whatever decision she reaches, I sincerely hope that it is the right one for her and, I am glad to hear that you are prepared to support her  either way.

Please keep in touch and let us know what you both decide. We are always here for you.

Kindest regards,

Jolamine xx