Oh my, I'm so so sorry to hear that x of course neither of you have done something wrong, cancer affects all different people and nobody can tell you the exact reason.

I was rushed in to hospital at the end of July after almost a month of pain and vomiting, no previous anything, and within a few days I had bilateral nephrostomy (tubes out of my back from my kidneys into bags) because I had a huge mass blocking them from my bladder, and they told me I had months and that they were sorry, so I can relate to that awful feeling xx

but please try your best to be positive, I know it's hard but right now is the hardest, a massive shock and it's all new x

when I think back to how bad I was just a few months ago it's amazing actually, I was in a wheelchair too

x

now I'm 4 chemo sessions down, 2 to go and at the half way scan they said my tumour had shrunk considerably and because it had spread from my cervix to my uterus womb bladder and Bowel, where it had shrunk from my bladder it's left a hole in the bladder wall so now along with my tubes coming out I'm completely incontenent.

 I did have that awful feeling to start with, why me what have I done, but now I just feel so lucky that they're treating me xx

i wish you all the luck in the world x stay strong x eat well x drink lots x exercise and just try to do things that make you happy xxx

hopefully it won't be long before you're on the road to recovery xxx

lots of love from Kate xxx

Thank you so much for replying Etak It made me feel less alone I'm glad your treatment is progressing well Ive finished all my chemo thankfully but now my partner will have to go through it all We haven't been told how bad his cancer is yet so it's an awful waiting time wondering if it's treatable or not  

x

Hi Jobeen x
im really glad you've finished your chemo x I can't imagine being in your position, I think you're really brave expressing yourself how you have x
i know it's easy for me to say but perhaps, since you've already been through so much, perhaps you are going to be just what your partner needs x I mean who better to relate to what he/she is going through than you x
someone who has already faced that dreadful moment of finding out x

im certainly no expert but sometimes when it all gets too much for me then I think of some of the people I've met along the way or people I don't even know that are in pain all the time or alone x I don't think I could have got through this so far if it wasn't for my partner and family x yes I've got it worse than a lot of people but if I can I try and focus on now x just being able to spend time together and how much worse it would have been if I did die a few months ago, it would have broken my partner and family, so now I count every day as a gift xx
It’s very easy for me to say because I'm lucky I have my family and even though I can't hug or kiss my partner (staying  at mums for treatment because I need her to be my nurse) I make the most of every time I see him and we sit outside at a distance or go for a walk xxx

i haven't spent a day without him in 18 years before this but we adapt and we are all much stronger than we think xx we as in me and you and everyone involved xxx

sorry if this is a bit all over the place but I hope get my meaning xx

thinking of you both at this very difficult time xxx
love and light to you and yours xxxx from Kate x

What a lovely, positive post to read Etak, even after all you have been faced with. My mother has been recently diagnosed, just wanted to say thanks for the positivity of that post and all the best on your journey x