Hi Sunscared

It doesn't seem fair you're having to support others when you yourself need this at such a crucial time. 

I totally get you re left to burn in the sun as a child. 

My family it seems are silent, apart from 1 of my sons. I think it may be fear related that they're not asking how you are, still, its sad. 

I really feel for you. I am here if you need to talk , anytime. I'll check in often . 

Regards to how the chemo is going ( cream) more tired than usual , skin feels so itchy, burning etc, but need to get rid of the abnormal cells. People worse off than me.

And you are going through hell by the sounds of it, so I wouldn't downplay what you are going through, you tough lady

Love 

X

Dear Angela,

Lovely to hear from you. Sorry about side-effects. Guessed there would be given what the cream needs to do.

Yes, it would be good if there were more sympathy but these are difficult times. The younger folk are all either themselves on the government's extremely vulnerable list, caring for the extremely vulnerable/palliative and/or key workers doing long shifts! 

I'm sorry you don't have much support from family. 

Was really pleased that the pharmacist did manage to source my meds and I am breathing a lot better. The right meds make such a difference! I'll never get my youth back, but I've a spring in my step.

Delighted to hear you have your cream now.  Let's hope it does everything it promises and gets rid of the damaged layer/abnormal cells.

Be very careful with the area – it may need to be covered from exposure to sunlight (even very weak) for quite some time both now and after. When I had the top layer of some of my skin destroyed (following burn) and crinkled brown dead top layer was rubbed off I got caught out and the new skin then scarred. You'll have to treat it like baby skin – and some!

Take care.

Love X

Hi sunscared

Good morning..

So glad to hear you have a spring in your step now, the right meds make all the difference, so sweet reading you have a spring in your step.

And no, we'll never regain our youth again, where have all those years gone? - They've gone by so quickly- its scary. 

Thank you for the sensible advice re covering up from the sun , much appreciated. To be honest I've never been a sunbathing fanatic, so not done that, but obviously as summer approaches, out come the t.shirts etc ..trying to think back when said area was particularly red.

Any hoo..hopefully you will have a comfortable day, or  some semblance of one, with your breathing and try asking for help? Its difficult admitting we need some help, but if like me, its too much effort ,the job gets done quicker if its up to me. :happy: too much hassle to ask. 

Our mental health is just as important, so swallowing pride sometimes.

Bye for now

x

Hi Angela,

Decent day today, thank you!

Reducing rescue meds now so am far less shaky/anxious.

We've had a lot of wind and rain but also some sun. The weather's been like me recently – all mixed up.

Know what you mean about pride... Yes, I've probably got too much of it. Must remember your nudge when I'm struggling. 

Hospital have given me such strict advice about sun. Supposed to wear long sleeves, hat and high-factor sun-cream and avoid sun exposure 11-4pm in Summer. So I'd better get myself walking while the hours are less restricted and before it gets too cold.

Hope that cream doesn't get too uncomfortable. When my skin gets itchy – am prone to heat rash – I find it quite unbearable. So I reckon you're doing a sterling job. All best. X

Hi sunscared

Morning to you.

I hope you managed to have a good nights rest.

It must feel awful to shake and have anxiety re side effects of the meds you've been authorized to take, it seems medicine still has a long way to go. Its 2020 for heavens sake. I wonder if in say 100 years time, will people ,studying medical history, feel alarmed at what people endured today.  Its a bit like the medical room I once saw at hospital , onlookers watched as amputations and other horrors were performed on unfortunate patients, whilst being held down..doesn't bear thinking about. Supposedly we're making progress, but sometimes the side effects seem to out way the benefits? 

I said to my dermatologist, why would you prescribe something to make me feel even worse then I do now?

Yes, its getting cooler now in the evenings, and dark, so try to wrap up before you go for a walk, luckily our walks during this pandemic, aren't culled. So we can run out of our homes like we've been held hostage. 

Its raining here, love the sound of rain. Lots of sounds relax. 

I hope you have a comfortable day

Catch up soon. Oh, one of my cats is currently heaving up a fur ball. " Rolls eyes "

Bye for now

x

Hi Angela,

I too love the rain. So soothing.

Medicine still has a very long way to go. But the salutary thought is that without what we've got some of us wouldn't have got beyond childhood.

You're right today is going to be much colder. Last couple of evenings have been warmer though very breezy. I try and do my shopping late to avoid people – can't carry very much. 

Just got a routine call for a breast mammogram. My mother had Stage 3 breast cancer (radical mastectomy) so I ought to go. But I'll have to walk there and it's a very long walk. I'm too scared to get a taxi or bus or rely on a volunteer (might catch COVID). Last time I walked to dermatology it took me 2 and a half hours on foot and more than 3 hours coming back. 

There's a lot that isn't ideal. I'm a carer for someone else at home. I'm also still working. But I try and see the positive. I'd really plummet mentally otherwise. I think of my walks as adventures and a chance to see trees and sky. If I hadn't got the right meds I wouldn't be considering going. There have been times in my life when I've been too unwell to talk. It's hard communicating by paper. Makes you appreciate things all the more when you are able to do them again. I'm going to try and relish my walk!

Hope your cat is okay now and you have a good day. Love X

Hi sunscared

I hope you managed to get your shopping and have that walk too. The rain should hold off the next few days, so I'll go for my walk and enjoy the trees and coolness too.

It turns out my cat, Ellie, had a bit of an upset stomach, she's fine, I keep a close eye on them when they get sick and know when to call the vet. She's sleeping at the moment, she's very clingy and loves my lap, but one cannot sit all day , one has things to do .I do love them.

Can the hospital send transport to collect you for your mammogram appointment? If you let them know your health situation, surely they won't accept that you have to walk all the way there? You must have been exhausted last time. I do feel for you. I know there's the worry of covid , but if you can get a lift ? Do you drive at all? 

Swallow your pride sunscared. 

Hope you have a comfortable night

Take care 

x

Hi Angela,

Pleased Ellie is okay. She sounds delightful.  No pets allowed where I live.

Hope you enjoyed your walk. There's a frost today. Absolutely freezing!

My GP would be more than happy with me walking to the hospital. Tell me I need the exercise...

Hospital transport might have risk of COVID. At least mammogram appointment isn't early like my dermatology one. I had to leave before dawn to get to dermatology as it was before 9am. Not sure hospital transport comes that early. I asked if I could have a later appointment as I was walking and all they could offer was 20 minutes later (still before 9am). Urgent 2WW appointments eh... I made it with just 5 minutes to spare which was perfect as they don't let you in any earlier nowadays. 

Take care. Love X

Hi sunscared

Blimey. You do have your work cut out re appointments these days. Surely hospital transport are extra careful, and since you have major health issues they'd be more than happy to help? Seems like they want you walking Marathons to your appointments!! 

Ellie is OK she's running around as normal, I've been busy catching up with home cleaning, she doesn't flinch an inch when the hoover is on, whereas Saskia, bolts off and doesn't show her face until the hoover is off. 

I hope you feel ok in yourself. You said you work, that must be exhausting for you as well as caring for someone at home and yourself, more power to you. Still its nice to hand over the reigns to others, wish I could and I'm sure you can't as you're like myself, too proud to ask, and get grumpy if you can't ask anyway. 

It has been a pleasant warmish day here, hopefully tomorrow is the same.

You take care sunscared, let us know how you are soon.

Love

X