The breast cancer nurses are wonderful so ask them everything you can think of - they will also happily chat to you on the phone if you think of anything else, which you will!  I went through all the same emotions, allow yourself to feel scared and vulnerable, draw on any support you have at home and don't be brave! It's exhausting to try and put in a brave face.  You will start feeling more positive, the first shock is the worst, I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and positivity of the people I am meeting.  Take care of yourself x