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Stage 4 Bowel Cancer

Samcastle
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Hi All,

 

My mum has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 bowel cancer that has spread to her liver and lungs. She's 58 and in good health otherwise. 
 

We have our first meeting with the Oncologist on Monday (5th Oct). Is it a bad sign they asked her to bring a family member? (Due to Covid I thought I wouldn't be allowed in so this doesn't feel very positive) I was hoping I could get advice on the best questions to ask the oncologist regarding treatment?

 

The reaction / attitude of the doctors so far has left my mum feeling like there's no hope. I want her to fight this so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Many thanks,

Sam 
 

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    Hello Sam,

                      sorry to read of your mothers diagnosis,its a terrible thing to have to face.That may explain why the consultant has asked for a family member to attend,since the patients mind tends to go off on a future scenario and consequence mission instead of taking in and understanding what is being said.Having someone more clearheaded and focused helps in relaying facts on what was discussed later when the patient returns to ground.

     

    You should certainly convey her wishes as to the extent she wishes to fight for a recovery and push to examine all the options and treatments.If some are excluded,satisfy yourself in detail as too why this should be the case.Remember you can always ask for a second opinion if you are not happy.Good luck on Monday,

                      David

     

     

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    Very sad news, Sam. The meeting on 5th October will not be easy. It may help if you ask your Mum if you could talk to the oncologist privately, maybe at a later date. 

    Wanting your Mum to fight it is understandable. But you and your Mum also need honest answers. If the oncologists think the disease is incurable, you need to know that. And if they think it is better to make your Mum as comfortable as possible, rather than subjecting her to a gruelling regime, in the small hope it gives her a few more months, then you and your Mum need to know that too.

    Ultimately all decisions will be your Mum's to make. 

    Wishing you all the best, Harry

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