Thanks for you reply.

Hi,

i think you are right to be upset as it was your news to be ready to tell but hopefully you can both move past this as I’m sure she only did what she thought was best, and it is good to have support.

maybe if you could try make her understand that it wasn’t about controlling her and try get across how scary it is that cancer takes away all your control or at least it feels that way and this was something you could hold on to that you could still control and she had took that away from you. And going forward if she could please respect it need to move at your own pace.

i wish you all the best with dealing with your diagnosis and hope you can get past this as if all this teaches us anything’s it’s life is too short x

Thank you, I think your right about the control thing, but I also wanted to forget about it all until I had my last meeting before the operation which is next week.

sadly my sister herself had cancer a few years ago so I think she thinks she's helping me but all it did was make me feel like I was a piece of gossip.  
 

she feels I'm being negative by not telling people but I don't want people to worry about me or treat me differently 

thank you for the chat

Hi Cazzydoll,

Sorry to read about your diagnosis and about your sister’s insensitive and selfish actions.

We all react differently to a cancer diagnosis and people should respect that. This is your bad news, not hers, some people need time to come to terms with the news before facing the World. Whatever her motives, she has stolen that time from you and you will never get it back.

What you do next is up to you. In your position, I’d assume from now onwards anything you tell her in confidence might as well be posted on a billboard! 

Forgive her by all means (you may need her support) but you are right to be angry with her for this breach of confidence.

For a while I had the opposite problem - I wanted people to know once I’d told my immediate family to avoid any misunderstandings or awkwardness - but that was MY choice. 

Good luck with your treatment!

Best wishes

Dave

HI,

Yep i get it.  What is it with families as the old saying goes 'can't live with then, but can't live without them'!!

Yep, you are all in 'shock' and trying to work through it best you can.  I think many people react to unexpected news by 'running' to someone else, and over the last 7 weeks, i have felt all sort of weird and strong emotions that i can't exxplain. I would be sooooooo angry though, i bet you are thinking 'who can i trust'!.

We are 7 weeks diagnosed, husband , not me.  We are being very 'selective' about who we telll and how much. Although people think they are being 'kind',  if anyone had asked me and him more so " how am i feeling"- i'm not sure i would have been very polite in response.  How on earth do they blo*ody ' think!1 (:

The people who we have told the full story, we have also asked them, not to mention it, We'll tell you if there is any news, so far all have been very compliant- we'll see....

So depending on your relationship, you could ask her never to share again, or you could be 'selective' with what you tell her, either way, it is your information and is under your control.

Best wishes