I've been on here a few days now but I hadn't had the guts to post until now.

I'm 46 and the last number of years had been a whirlwind of multiple miscarriages and IVF. We finally had our little girl in 2019 through Donor egg IVF and we thought all the heartache was behind us..seems naive now. 

I breastfed for a year and shortly after I stopped I noticed that I had a sort of mass in my right breast that felt different to the left. I put it down to just odd breast tissue from breast feeding, but my sister and husband pestered me to have it checked out by the gp. Even the gp thought it was breast tissue but booked me into the breast clinic to be sure. I wasn't in the least bit concerned really, even when the consultant started circling areas of concern, or when they sent me for a mamogram and ultrasound with biopsies, so it hit me like a train, when after that they said we think you have breast cancer. I had a 2week wait to find out it was also in 2 of my lymph nodes and that I have tripple positive breast cancer, hormone receptor positive for estrogen and progesterone and HER2+. Thankfully the CT scan has shown no spread (the only good news so far) I'm still awaiting the results of the bone scan. What I do know though is that I'll have 18weeks of chemo plus Perjeta, and 11 cycles of Trastuzumab, a mastectomy and probably radio therapy, with no guaratees it will be gone after all that.

So really I'm just wondering what to expect with this treatment. Usually I'm a very positive person, but I fill like I'm in some kind of sick nightmare at the moment. I'm terrified of getting an infection on chemo, so any advice would be greatly appreciated there too. I have moments where I feel I can fight this and other moments where I picture my little girl who we fought so hard to have, growing up without me and I struggle to hold it together.

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