Hi Carrie,

I was diagnosed on the 1st Sept with invasive ductal breast cancer. I am still waiting for my HER2 results as they came back inconclusive and this could take another 2 weeks. I am terrified it will spread in that time.

Please take comfort in the fact they have caught it early and there is no evidence that it is in your nodes. You also have your treatment plan and that is great so now you know the next steps. It really is a roller coaster isn't it. Sometimes I forget for 5 minutes and thats the best 5 minutes of my day. We will be fine, the treatments available now are amazing.  Staying positive is key and so is reigning yourself in when your mind runs too far in front. Take it day by day. 

Love Katie xxx

Hang in there Carrie. They've got it early, which is great. And the lymph nodes are clear, which is also really good. Waiting for the scan results (MRI, CT) is really scary. It's hell. But you are in the right place here. Everyone understands what you are going through.
Remember that you have an excellent chance of being cured. xx Harry

Hello Carrie

As someone now coming to the end of my cancer treatment, (but I won't say the journey is anywhere near ended for me) I want to say to you that the treatment itself is not as bad as you may believe. I was terrified when I started chemo in particular. That was because of the unknown, you simply don't know how your body will react. I will say that the chemo at times floored me. As in I was so exhausted, but I still managed to go to work in some capacity... for my sins. (I wouldn't recommend working through chemo!)

My concern, and the reason why I've chosen to reply to you is because you state that you are already quite an anxious person. I too am a terrible, awful worrier. THAT was my biggest problem throughout the treatment. The short of it is that I put these worries and insecurities on people at work and have now ruined my work life and am extra anxious to return now when I'm taken off of furlough, so much so that I'm looking for a way out of returning to work but it's just not feasible.

You say your main concern is your children and that you want to see them grow up, well that's what I'd love you to focus on throughout this. Life isn't over in the here and now is it my lovely? You CANNOT let the fear take over you. Yes you have this God awful disease BUT you are still here and you still have your wonderful family. You, (as in your physical body and your mind mentally) are undoubtedly going to be on the most difficult journey to date in your life. I'm NOT going to tell you to be strong because that's WAY too much pressure on you under these circumstances and you will find people keep on telling you that. No, I'm going to say be brave. Brave enough to show EVERY emotion as it comes and NEVER let yourself or anyone else, including family and those you view closest to you, make you feel ashamed, embarrassed or guilty about any emotions you find yourself riding. That's what can also eat you up.

The chemo I found exaggerates every little anxious thought going on in your mind but try to be brave enough to challenge those thoughts. You will find that sometimes you just can't do that and that's when you will find the ones around you who REALLY matter. They will be there to tirelessly listen to every thought no matter how crazy it makes you feel and THEY will be the ones to challenge those thoughts when you are to exhausted to. They will be there to give you perspective and point out all the good you have in your life which will make you hold on. It'll mean that you are too weak to give in but too strong to lose. 

Please feel free to add me as a friend on here. Right... I'm off for a mammogram! The joys

Thanks Harry 

I too am terrified it will spread with all this waiting ktaylor85 I too had to wait an extra week for HER2 now it's waiting for all the scans that scares me too thank you for your message let me know how it goes xx

Hi Carrie

I just wanted to reach out to you as your post made me very emotional and I wanted you to feel support of others in the same boat.  I am as yet to have my full diagnosis; later today I am going in to receive results of the biopsy on the two solid lumps in my left breast.  I was petrified and not in a good way all these days of waiting but today I am much calmer and will take whatever I am dealt.  I am trying hard to push morbid thoughts away but its just human nature.  Maybe, with time and as we get used to our new normal, this will get easier and we'll be more accepting of the situation we find outselves in.

Natasha

Have messaged you and have accepted your friend request :)

Thank you Natasha how did you get on ? 
 

carrie 

Hi Carrie

Snap in same position. Just diagnosed and awaiting plan.  As I have so much of it I am having to have a mascetomy.  Waiting for nodes to be checked to see if it's spread.   I am single parent with 2 children.  I am trying really hard to take each day as it comes.  The waiting is by far the hardest.   I just keep busy.  Its scary but you will get through it.