Hi there,

Welcome to our forum, although I'm so sorry to hear why you've joined us. I lost my Mum to secondary breast cancer which spread to her bone, brain, lungs and liver and, watching her deteriorate was heartbreaking. I myself was diagnosed with breast cancer 11 years ago and had a second bout the following year.

Your question is one that most people in your situation want an answer to, but unfortunately there isn't one. All cancers are individual to a particular person. Some are more advanced or agressive than others and, our bodies all react differently to treatments too.

This must be particularly hard when your partner is still so young. How are you and your children coping with her diagnosis?

Please don't worry about the PET scan. A PET scan tells doctors about the presence, location and severity of cancers. Instead of worrying about her death, please try and concentrate on making memories as a family. Ensure that any pain she has is well managed, that she can come to terms with her diagnosis and, that she knows how much you all love her. She may be frightened of what lies ahead and, may need counselling. Ask her care team to refer her if necessary. Be as supportive as you can be. Most people, although not all, find that it helps to be able to talk about their feelings with a loved one.

You have a hard road ahead of you, but many of us have walked this road before and, we are all here to help and support you along the way.

Please keep in touch and let us know how her PET scan goes. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi Jolamine,

Thanks for your reply. Everyone in our family is on the same page now. We've explained to the kids their mums condition and that mum won't ever be an old lady, so, we've to make the most of now. We're definitely planning for the here and now and will make the absolute most of whatever time we have have together. She's an absolute warrior and is tackling this head on. She's suffered no pain relating to her cancer. She's had the initial source of cancer removed from her breast and 28 of her lymph nodes which is still healing. The main issue at present is an implant they have given her to stop her producing oestrogen which is causing her a lot of discomfort. We're not sure of how long these implants will need to be used for but I seem to think that they stimulate the onset of the menopause...? 

With regards to the 1 to 5 year prognosis, it just feels that that's a stock statement for anyone diagnosed with untreatable cancer as a lot of people in these threads have lived in excess of 5 years. We've not put a time frame on how long we've got were just planning for the here and now. 

I really appreciate you taking time to reply as it's obvious that you've had it really tough yourself. 

Thank you

Andrew

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Hi Andrew,

I'm glad to hear that all of your family are now in the know. This is so much easier for the entire family.It is good to hear that she is a warrior and has had no pain relating to her cancer. Her wound from the lymph node removal will take a while to heal. I an afraid that I don't know anything about the implant to stop her producing oesteogen, but has she mentioned this to her breast care nurse? This is what they are there for - to give advice on any issues that are bothering us along the way. It is usually a matter of leaving a message on their answering machine, but they normally return your call within a day or two. Hopefully, others who have had more experiece with this treatment will pop by soon.

When she has had the results of her PET scan, you could probably ask her consultant for a more definite prognosis. S/he is the person best placed to answer this question for you, as they will have all of your partner's medical records to hand. However, you are quite right that it is still to some extent 'a guesstimate', as some people outlive their prognosis by quite some time and, others pass sooner than expected.

You are doing the best thing possible by living in the moment. Just take things day by day and make those memories while she is fit enough to do so.

I am always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx