well this last 3 weeks has been a whirlwind. . 

I had my smear before lockdown end of Feb. Got an abnormal letter saying I'd need colposcopy but because of covid likely a delay. I thought not much of it as I had an abnormal result 4years ago but all was OK then. 

I then had some bleeding after intercourse (I put down to not seeing my partner for 14 weeks through covid) I rang GP he advised to ring colposcopy to ask advise i did they booked me in for July 23rd. Had the colposcopy i bleed alot and it hurt.

My partner and stepson went away for 6days i got a call the Thursday inwas away from the hospital asking me in to.see the consultant (I started to panic) 

I went to.see the consultant on 4th August and thats a date I will never ever forget and him telling me I have cervical cancer. . My world has been turned upside down. I felt numb for a week then angry what had I done to deserve this. 

I have the most amazing partner who has been with me every step of the way and I dodnt know what I'd have done without him this last 3 weeks. 

I'm now looking at fertility options as the likely hood is i wont be able to have children another blow as we had talked about trying for a baby in March but covid hit and we had to.delay it. I dont have children either. Im praying for a.miricle that maybe just maybe I might get pregnant after treatment but im.having embryo freezing so we could look at surrogacy later. 

Sorry to go on i suppose its just a release. 

Jem x