dad's diagnosis

Hi all,

My dad had melanoma last year which was excised, they went back in and found borders so excised again. He had scans that were all clear, then more scans that were all clear. Then he found a lump and now his scans aren't clear and we think it's come back and metastasized.

 

When he bought the information across to us I very firmly adopted the 'well there's nothing I can do until I have more information' attitude. I'm a scientist so I like all the facts. Then my partner asked what I thought the prognosis was and I repeated that I'd rather wait for the experts. He starts immunotherapy in the next few weeks and has his big consultant meeting next week and so I foolishly started reading things. And all I found were horrifying 5 year survival rates and information about the lethality of metastasizing melanoma and it all just hit me today that my dad might not survive for another 3 years and I don't know what to do.

 

Anyway, you folks seemed like a lovely bunch and I thought I'd ask whether anyone had any tips on how to not just sit and eat cookies and cry because I don't think that's a hugely productive use of my time!

 

Many thanks in advance!

  • Hello Heron

    Welcome to the forum although I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad's recent diagnosis. 
    I think most members here will understand how difficult the waiting is and if you are the kind of person who works on having information and hard facts then it can be difficult to deal with this period of the unknown. 

    It sounds positive that your Dad is being offered treatment options and whilst you may want to be fully informed about what's going on, I'd reccomend staying away from Google and instead speaking to someone direct who may be able to answer the questions you have. It may be that you're able to speak to your Dad's Consultant or clinical nurse specialist if he has one. Alternatively give our team of nurses a call to chat things through. I'm sure that they will be able to offer some advice and reassurance. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Finally, and I know that this is often so much easier said than done, try to take things a day at a time. Looking too far into the future and all the possibilities will leave you feeling overwhelmed and anxious. 

    I hope that the meeting with the Consultant goes well next week. Do let us know how he gets on. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator