Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer

Hi,

 

I am 23 years old and my dad has been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and it has spread to his liver. They told him he has around 8 months to live. He has been going to the GP for over 2 years and we are so shocked that it has come to this.

My dad is 57, he has always been fit and healthy. Running marathons, cycling to work and back, always in the garden being active. We just didn't expect this and we can't believe it. 

He's had a rough few weeks, he accepted chemo to try it for the first 3 cycles to see what affect it would have on him. Unfortunately, the chemo had to be cancelled as his blood levels were not right for the chemo. At this time he was in a severe amount of pain and admitted to hospital. He started to get jaundice so he had a stent fitted in his liver. He was in hospital for 2 weeks and they also gave him a nerve blocker which seems to have massively helped with the pain. 

He has lost a severe amount of weight, probably over 2 stone in the last month. If you compared photos from a month ago to now he looks like a completley different person. It's just so heartbreaking. He couldn't eat because it was causing him too much pain. While in hospital, he fell over and the doctors think he may have a hernia in his groin, but they cannot treat it.

He is now home, but we are really struggling. We are finally getting him to eat but getting him to walk about is a very hard task. It's like he has given up already. The pallative nurses come and see us to talk everything through with us.

His original gp came and visited him today. He had a private conversation with my mom to say he has lost a severe amount of weight which means that the cancer could be very aggressive and he may just have a few months rather than 8 months. We just don't know what to believe or think. We don't really want to tell my dad as hes finally seeming a little perkier and we don't want to ruin it. We just want to make more memories with him but until we can get him mobile, it's going to be so difficult. 

I don't really know why I submitted on the forum, but I would like to hear of over peoples stories as I feel it helps me come to terms with it.

 

Thank you for your support in advance.

Lauren xxx

  • So sorry to hear about your dad Lauren. 

    My dad 82 was fit and healthy till 6 weeks ago, he went into hospital with a suspected stroke, brain ct showed stroke and possible one 2 weeks early. 

    Came out of hospital 2 days later with only a numb foot. He slipped off the bed a few days later and couldn't feel his arm or leg and was very shaky. 

    Back to hospital where another scanned said not another stroke but a seizure from the stroke. 

    Anyway mum called hospital a couple of days later and asked how he was, she was told on the phone he had a brain tumor from lung cancer. 

    All in shock. Two days later my dad calls my mum and said dr had been round and said he had metastatic cancer in brain lung liver maybe kidney pancreatias and hotspots on bone. 

    He also said he had 6/8 weeks to live.

    Obviously we were all devistated but cross at the way he was told all alone. And my mum receiving the news when she was alone. 

    My daughter drove up the next day and managed to speak to dr, who then reluctantly set up a meeting with oncologists. 

    They are not sure if the cancer started in the lung or pancreatias as the pancreatias tumor is larger. 

    He had a liver biopsy monday just gone and should get results either friday or Monday. 

    He did lose 6lb in weight when first told but has managed to put 4lb on. 

    Still only symptom is a numb foot. We dont know if this is from brain tumor or the stroke. 

    After we spoke to the oncologists they said if it started in pancreatias they might be able to offer a chemo tablet as its not as harsh. 

    If it started in lung a lot more options. 

    From what a gather with covid people are not being offered as many options as previously. 

    One of the cancer nurses said we must complain to pals because of the way hes been treated no compassion at all. 

    The date of the biospy was delayed as one department thought the other had organised it and vice verser. 

    By the time he gets the results we will be at least 4 weeks down the line. 

    One of the nurses and drs said dont be frightened if offered palative treatment. People can go on a longtime with such treatment and a lot more comfortably than the harsher treatments which hopefully destroy the cancer. 

    My dad says if he can stay like he is he will be happy.

    I do hope things get a bit better with your dad, I have noticed once someones pain is controlled life is a bit better. X

    Do take care, thinking of you at this dreadful time. x

  • Hi Ollie,

     

    Thank you for replying.

     

    Your story has truly amazed me how your amazing dad had no symptoms of any sign of cancer. It truly is a horrible disease and I hope one day we beat it. 
     

    I can't imagine what your dad is going through right now. You sound like you are going to go through a whirlwind and getting a 6/8 week diagnosis must be the most horrible thing in the world. 
     

    My dad wasn't treated right either by his GP or when he was in hospital. My dad was going to the gp for 2 years and they couldn't be bothered to send him for scans. They forgot to give him his tablets in hospital too. I totally agree that something has to be done through Pals. My mom will go through that I think. 
     

    I am so sorry for his diagnosis and please tell him to keep fighting. We have to try and remain positive as much as possible.

     

    Thinking of you also at this terrible time x

    Please keep in touch x
     

     

  • Hi Lauren 

    Do keep fighting, same as your dad they forgot half my dads tablets while in hospital. Luckily he noticed and told the nurse who found it very funny that 2 sheets had stuck together. 

    Since my dads diagnosis ive read some terrible stories about how cancer patients have been treated during covid. 

    If we hadnt of researched different treatments he would of just been sent home to die. 

    Its awful that your dad was back and forth to the drs for 2 years without so much as a scan or referral. 

    It seems some drs have a lot to answer for. 

    Keep strong, research and maybe even ask for a second opinion. x

    Funnily enough one of their neighbours suffered very similar treatment and was sent home with no treatment or support. She is on end of life now. 

    Its very sad that nothing is being offered to people or just 1 kind of treatment since covid. 

    My mum was saying if we hadnt of said anything and they were alone they would of just accepted what the drs said. 

  • Hi Ollie,

     

    It is truly awful forgetting tablets, and the fact they found that funny is just terrible. I can't believe that they found it funny. Where about are you located? 

    I understand COVID is a big thing but I really think they should of had a duty of care for cancer patients. It's a good job you did some research as other people may not have known what to do.

    2 whole years, he had abnormal bloods which showed something not right in his pancreas and constant off and on pain for that time. They didn't want to know really. He was put on tablets last year that caused severe pancreatitis rushed to a&e. Strangely didn't even see it then, very unusual. 
    Unfortunately his first biopsy was done incorrectly so they sent him to another hospital, so they said that was his second opinion. We tried a place in London but they didn't get back to us. We are just trying to keep positive and hope that they are wrong about the number of months left..

    That is crazy your neighbour experienced the same thing with no support, the stories you hear are truly terrible. 
    It's a good job you and your mom are switched on, I think sometimes doctors will tell you something and you have to accept it, I don't think they expect people to look into it further. 
    How is your dad in himself? Is he remaining positive ? X


     

     

  • Thats madness that your poor dad has suffered for such a longtime. Its only at times like this when you join various forums looking for support that you realise how often this is happening. 

    My dad was in hospital, we are 60 miles away so taking it in turns to go up to support them. 

    If they dont offer anything when results are back im going to ask for copies of his scans and biopsy results and get another opinion. 

    Ive read a lot about people being sent all their scans

    and results on a disc which is what im hoping for. 

    My dad is fine in himself apart from numb foot, he says his fine when he gets going just needs to look at it to start with before he starts walking. 

    This is very similar to a couple of people I work with who have both had strokes. 

    The drs did say the part of the brain the tumor is in is the part responsible for sight and speaking. 

    My dad still has his daily whisky and pint of strongbow which he says is his medicine, his appetite is great and his still doing most of the things he done previously. 

    He just cant walk like he used to but that could either be the stroke or the cancer. 

    How about your dad x

     

  • I know. That is so true you don't realise it happens to a lot of people it really opens your eyes to it all! 
     

    I think getting a second opinion would be the best thing to do, especially as he has no real symptoms apart from the numb foot. Hopefully you can get the copies of the scans and also get all his blood reports that what my mom asked for. As well as check ups over the years, see if there's anything abnormal in his blood. 
     

    Bless him, great that he is still having his whiskey, I really don't blame him. That's great news he is still able to do everything too. 
     

    My dad has ups and downs really, when he came out of hospital he's been fairly well but thought they put him on too high dosage of morphine. Had all symptoms for over dosing. So we asked palliative care to lower it, especially as he's had the nerve block so should of blocked most of the pain. He's gone from 90mg to 50mg now. He's also lost 2 stone while in hospital as he didn't want to eat, so he's extremely weak. He is also not that mobile as the hernia in his groin is playing him up. So it's been really difficult. 
     

    We are just hoping he can get more mobile and eat a little more. Get him a little stronger and hopefully be able to take him places. X

  • Bless him, such an awful disease. 

    Hope your dad is having a good day today x