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Wife is pregnant - Her mum diagnosed with cancer

Sonny321
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Hi, my wife is 17 weeks pregnant with our first child and we are very happy for starting a our own family. We had the devastating news on Friday that her mum has lung cancer and it's completely consumed my wife and us. She's very upset a lot of the time and I feel all the pain she is going through it's just so hard at the moment. We are hoping that the cancer is treatable, it is only on one side of the lung but maybe has spread into some lymph nodes.

All of this when we are expecting our child, my wife is terrified that her mum won't meet her grandchild, that if she is ever stuck and unsure about something with the baby that she won't be able to speak to her mum for help.

My heart is breaking for her, it's almost as if we are mourning the worst even though it's not happened yet. Does anyone know of any places or numbers that could help if we need them to manage the situation emotionally? It was the worst possible time for this news.

 

thanks

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    Hello Sonny321, 

    A warm welcome to our forum and it's wonderful news that your wife and you are expecting your first baby. What should be a really exciting time for you has been understandably dampened  by the news about your wife's mum. It's normal that she is feeling upset at a time when with the pregnancy a lot of changes are happening on a physical and emotional level and it must be so difficult for her at the moment to take it all in as there is still so much uncertainty about her mum's diagnosis and treatment plans. I am sure your support means a lot to her and you are clearly extremely caring - she is lucky to have you by her side during this very difficult time. 

    The best thing to do at the moment is to focus on the wonderful news of the baby's arrival with all the scans and milestones that go with it and take a day at a time if you can. I hope that you won't have to wait too long to find out more about the treatment options as the long wait and uncertainty are bound to exacerbate your wife's anxiety. But try if you can not to anticipate the worst - hopefully you will get some clarity on all this very soon and know exactly what you are dealing with. 

    Our cancer nurses are available on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm so don't hesitate if you  or your wife would like to talk things through with them. I am sure they will have some good tips for you to help you manage this situation emotionally or if you have any questions once you find out what the treatment plan might be.

    Keep us updated on how things go for you in the coming months. We'll be thinking of you. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Lucie

    Thanks Lucie.

     

    She has been diagnosed with Squamous NSCLC stage 3b, after the PET scan came back back the consultants agreed they would attempt a surgery to remove the cancer and use chemo for the remainder (this was a last minute decision chemo was already arranged as primary treatment method scheduled for this Tuesday). They attempted this Monday and we hit the 1 in 5 chance that they would not be able to do anything, the cancer was fused to other parts so they couldn't remove, which has now delayed the chemo treatment whilst she recovers so it is a double blow. Really frustrating we were given 80% chance of success, I wish that these numbers were never used as it leads to a false sense of hope, my wife had come to terms with things slightly before given that new option and now it has all reset, I am angry and upset.

    We now have to prepare her for chemo but the cancer is pressing on her esophagus so she is having problems with food getting stuck and not keeping it down, such an uphill battle and will only get harder.

     

    I just hope we have some good news at some point!

     

     

     

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    Hey Sonny321. I hope you are really well and enjoying your life as a parent? I find myself in the exact same position as you were a few years ago and sort of hoping I can ask you for some advice?

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