Hi,

I don't have a lot of advice to offer. I am awaiting an appointment for the breast clinic. So I don't even know if I have cancer but I just thought I'd say something.

in regards to your children and work I would wait until you know for sure and you if it is cancer once you know your treatment plan you'll have more of an idea of how it will effect work and your home life etc. Right now if I were you I would just focus on keeping yourself going. 
cant imagine what you're going through right now but I hope whatever happens you get the best outcome possible. 
 

I found a lump 11 months ago breast clinic checked and said it was nothing to worry about but over the last few weeks some other symptoms have occurred in the same breast so I'm not being referred back to them. I like you have a young daughter she is 2. I'm petrified, I'm a single parent and I have a supportive family but I have no idea how to deal with all of this and right now it still may be nothing so I really don't know how you're managing it all. Just focus on yourself for now. Thinking of you xx

Hi,

I also had an ultrasound that apparently looked very suspicious but I was never told anything after the ultrasound. They also took a biopsy but he said this was because of how long I said I had the lump. They only told me I had cancer after the biopsy at my consultation a few days later.

I think being told you potentially have cancer without 100% confirmation has its pros and cons. Pro is that you can somewhat prepare yourself a little more if it is bad news but the con is the waiting time must become agonising.

I think it would be best to wait until you have the full confirmation and there will be a nurse there to help you with any questions after. I don't have children myself but I imagine they could help in helping you figure out how to explain it to them etc.

Hopefully there is someone else you can speak with in the meantime (obviously alongside this forum) so you're not struggling alone in the meantime 

Nadia x

Hi,

i am around 7 weeks ahead of you. Told initially prob cancer, confirmed a week later, put on endocrine therapy to await surgery (delay due to covid) as mine is hormone receptive, her-2 negative.

 Treatment depends on the type, whether hormone receptive, her-2 negative/positive or triple negative. 
My operation was 2 weeks ago and the tumour downgraded from 3 to 2 and no nodal involvement & all margins clear. Pain for a few days but fully functional after the surgery. 

I did not tell my youngest (12 yrs) & he's still blissfully unaware but I told my 18yr old & he put a positive light on the whole thing, I told my partner and 1 friend.
I did not tell work until I needed to quarantine 2 weeks pre op & only then my line manager.

We are all different, there's no right or wrong thing to do. You can't stop your brain being on overdrive, you can't stop thinking the worst, nor shake of the awful feeling of dread.
All I can suggest is do what my partner told me to do he just said take it step by step & I have & kind of fallen out the other side. 

Got everything crossed that you'll be ok 

best wishes x

I can only advise from my own experience being diagnosed with cancer last year. 

I remember this as the most difficult time of all - waiting for some definite news and coping with the shock and uncertainty. 

You might not feel it yet, but your support has already started. Your biopsy is being tested to find out whether it is cancer and, if so, what type of cancer. If you need treatment they will be working out from the test results what type of treatment is best for you individually.

Your next appointment will have more definite information one way or another. They will then be able to give you answers to your questions so that you can start to work out whether or not it will have an impact on your family life and work life. 

In the meantime, I agree with the previous advice. Just focus on looking after yourself (not easy for a mum with young children!).  Keep busy if that helps, but let your standards drop if you need to. 

Don't feel any pressure to tell anyone else until you have some definite news and you feel ready to.  

Wishing you the best news, hang on in there,  I am rooting for you

Hi 

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through .reading your post it sounds like you have so much going on inside your head - all jumbled up , bless you . I have had two different types of cancers - the first when my children were 2 and 12 . It's completely up to you how you deal with this situation. I know everyone on here will be happy to help and let you know what yet did in similar situations. I am 53 now and have learnt over the years to try ( I know it's hard) and take one day at a time and try not to let your thoughts escalate into a big snowball. My husband is very supportive and he himself suffered a horrific accident 24 years ago . He was so positive and has taught me to not worry about what ifs ? And to deal with things if and  when they happen . I'm a worrier but have got better over the years . Something I found very useful when I was diagnosed with breast cancer was I bought myself a nice journal and pen . I write down any worries I had , my appointments , how I was feeling on a particular day and it really helped me sort out my thoughts . I noticed you said yo felt like having a clear out - getting rid of clothes etc . A similar thing but with your thoughts . This hard time of not knowing will pass . I wish you so much luck . Remember the professionals are here to help you whenever you need it xx

Hi ladies,

Thank you all so so much for your positive practical pragmatic advise, plus you all have been through so much and taking the time to write back is really really kind and is testament to how strong you all are.

The nurse rang me today with my follow up biopsy appt and I asked again do I yes/no have the C. She said 2of three tests look clinically of concern but the biopsy will show and if that does not show they will do more biopsy. She was fantastic my follow up on results is in 2 weeks time so let's see if there is a change they got it wrong. Then I guess take it from there so I guess looking not great but on the upside so many if you ladies have been through so much are still positive and pushing on, it's not all a final ending just when ones get a diagnosis that what I am hearing. Two weeks seems like forever but just need to keep working and try to put it back if mind which is impossible!! Plus my nurse think I should my boss but also she said it's up to you so I will think once I am more informed. Thank you all ladies for been so open and helpful so so so much appreciated xxx 

Dear Ncd, 

Per the rest of the ladies on this site, I wld also echo for you to stay positive! 

Last month, a lump in my right breast looked extremely suspiscious on imaging and the doctor assigned a 75% probability that its cancer. They did two biopsies, and thank goodness, it came back as a benign breast change. 

I was grateful that they were upfront abt the lump looking very suspiscious and the breast clinic knows best because they see so many cases all day everyday. I was a complete wreck during the two weeks of waiting-for-results period, and have to thank my friends, work and Downton Abbbey re-run for keeping my mind occupied. I did tell work and they were incredibly supportive and allowed me to stay on projects or sign off on days I feel quite fragile. 

Not trying to give you false hope here, but try to stay positive till the biopsy confirms one way of the other. Let us know, hon, and we are all rooting for you. 

Lots of hugs 

Thank you, that indeed gives a glimmer of hope.

It is so hard when they say clinically suspicious but then you have to wait, why say in the first instance ?

These two weeks will either drag or be super fast, luckily I have a very busy demanding job which is good did bad !!! But at least I will be busy not to mention the kids and schooling doh!!!  

Hopefully based on everything it will be good news but I suppose I have to prepare either way. I have decided not to tell work, they have no reason to know unless the confirmed results are not good, no point saying something and then say hey guys all ok !!! I think I would feel a bit embarrassed . So best to keep it to myself, hubby and one friend who will look after the kids when we go for results. Nothing worse than an unnecessary label or any label I think at this stage xxxx

Thank you all ladies for all you wonderful support, be

safe , take care, bless you all xxxx 

Thank you so much, I hope you are recovering well sounds like you have been through so much like many others on this group, you are so positive which is amazing and thank you for taking the time to write back really appreciate it

sending hugs