Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 2 replies
  • Views 157 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Dad has been diagnosed with bowl cancer and I’m lost

Bobo94
Offline

Hi, 

My step-dad who is really my dad, had recently been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer which has spread to his liver. It was a complete shock to the family and I honestly don't even know how to cope. I don't know what to say to him and o don't know what to do. I have a one year old little girl who is keeping me going but I'm just wondering how people cope with news like this. 
 

I know I probably shouldn't be so worried about myself during this time. I find that when I talk to people about it you just get the sympathy which I don't want. I want to learn to live with what's going on. I just want to sit and cry but my daughter makes the days easier when I'm with her, but once she's gone to bed my mind races and the dreams I am currently having are awful. 
 

thank you for any help 

  • Offline

    Hello lovely, 

    So sorry for your news.

    One of friends dad got diagnoised with stage 4 bowel cancer that has spread to other parts of his body on the 13th of June. Her family and herself are all struggling so much too. Just know you are not alone through this! 

     

    Maybe this is help see things from a different perspective but my bestfriends dad got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer coming up to 5 years now and he is still fighting so strong!! Just know that the words 'stage 4' never means the end for anyone and he can still beat it !!

     

    From being a friend and watching close ones going through this I have noticed doing activies you would normally do day to day help and maybe finding a new hobby or interest to draw your focus onto is also a very good coping mechanism. Also therapy (online now) is a good way to get more professional advice and resources on how to deal with day to day emotions, aswell as having someone else to speak to! 

     

    For your dreams maybe try listening to podcasts or read a book to get your mind off things - I am currently reading 'Normal People' by Sally Rooney which is amazing !! 

     

    Just take everyday as it comes and allow yourself you good times and bad times when needed, i'm sending all the love your way and I hope any of this helps. 

     

    Kat x

     

     

     

     

     

  • Offline in reply to KatF

    Hi Kat, 

     

    thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. 
     

    it's good to hear about your friend, I have read quite a few good story's online of people that are in the same situation which have made me feel a lot better. 
     

    I am trying to make life as normal as possible atm for my mum, and constantly offering my time and support for her. 
    personally I feel like my partner doesn't quite get it, he doesn't understand why I'm struggling with normal every day life. 
     

    I will definitely take the advice on doing normal every day things and also taking up a new hobby to keep my busy. Like I say I'm fine in the day but as soon as my daughter goes to bed that's when I have all the time to sit and think. So maybe a nice night time hobby would be perfect. 
     

    I have read normal people and it is a fantastic book!! I am currently reading the binder which is also amazing but I constantly find my mind wandering away and not actually paying attention to what I've read. 
     

    you're reply has made the world of difference and I hope you know that by taking a small part of your day to reply, that you've made me feel so much better.

     

    thank you so so much. And I hope your friends dad gets better soon. 
     

    thank you 

    amy 

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.