Dear River3,

I am so sorry to hear your news and an especially sorry that it took so long for the doctors to come to the right diagnosis. I presume you are in the care of a breast consultant and nurse now- how are they? What treatment plan have they suggested and when is the trial starting? Can they give you something for your pain? 

Not dissimilar to your case, my father had a type of blood disease that his doctors could have detected had they did a more thorough check and read his bloods in full. As a result, the disease was undetected for 1 year and a half before he was diagnosed and he passed away six months later. My heart smashed into a million pieces and remains broken ever since. 

He's a real positive thinker and was trying whatever treatment he was being given, which I see you are doing that too. Treatments nowadays are so advanced and I know personally so many cases where ppl have survived years beyond what the doctor told them to expect. In the case of my Dad, he was living with my mother who screamed at him all day most days and blamed him for 'getting sick and putting her in a difficult situation' and he's didnt get to rest much and still had to conversely do the groceries, housework and take care of my mother who was otherwise healthy. So, he was psychologically and emotionally spent. 

Please stay strong as its a true wonder what the mind can help the body with. Sending you lots of light and love. 

Thank you for replying and I’m so sorry to hear about your father, so sad your mother didn’t support him I have got a consultant now and a named nurse who I was told I could phone anytime to talk, I tried this and got a recorded message but she didn’t phone me back. The trial I’ve signed up to sounds quite intensive and I’m having to have several tests done before treatment can begin but they give me timescales and don’t stick to them. I’m feeling tempted to phone tomorrow and say forget the trial and just start chemo as everything is moving so slowly. I’ve been told the diagnosis was delayed as I had/have what they call a silent very aggressive tumour and I have to admit until the breast lump appeared I’d got no problems to speak of. I’ve had a stomach problem for years so would have just assumed that was a separate issue, although I sometimes wonder if the stomach was the primary cancer but the consultant assured me it wasn’t . I was also aware my hip bones ached sometimes but put it down to age. I’ve never really had a serious health problem and never been one to trouble doctors.

The consultant suggested codeine for pain but it gives me constipation and has caused complications as a tumour in my stomach is pressing against the bowel and restricting it, so I have to be alert in case I get a blockage, so I find that worrying. I can’t take aspirin and also have problems with some other medications as I’m lactose intolerant, so basically I’m relying on paracetamol.

Some days I feel fine and can do a 3 mile walk with the dog, I had a day at the beach last week which was lovely (& local) and feel the need to do things I enjoy while I can. Today however I’ve had stomach ache nearly all day and barely eaten, now I can’t sleep but hopefully things will be better in the morning. I’ll do my best to take one day at a time and enjoy as many as I can.

Not sure what to expect once I start treatment and I’ve been told it’ll never end, when treatment ends so do I apparently so here’s hoping it’s bearable.