Hi I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis, it's a very worrying and scary time, I'm just about to turn 47 this month I was diagnosed in February this year with breast cancer  it's been hard to take it all in, I had biopsy done on the lump and arm lymp node area it was painful after and alot of bruising lasted a few weeks but it did go, I had a friend who had vacuum biopsy done  she also said that was painful for few weeks after so can only assume its normal, you could ring your breast care nurse about your concerns, do you know if you are having surgery first or chemotherapy first   I had surgery first had it beginning of April because of the corona virus pandemic chemo was to risky as the virus  was getting very high, after all the extra scans I had to determine the surgery I needed I had a 19mm lump also found a 4mm area that hadn't formed a lump but would have in time and I was lymph node positive  with high grade 3 cancer cells I ended up having a left side mastectomy and 10 lymph nodes removed  this was all analysed again and only 1 lymp node was positive which was good, have you been booked in for the other scans yet  they do get everything moving pretty quickly, it's been around 8weeks since my op hardly had any pain after just weird sensations and have healed well  my surgeon/consultant didn't think I would need chemo but had to speak to chemo specialist  she decided it was best if I had chemo just to make sure it had all gone, I was upset as I hoped I wouldn't have it but you have to do what they think is right they know more than I do, I've had one chemo that was 21st May I'm now due my 2nd on 11th June not looking forward to it, 6 sessions in total, I really feel for you and also what you are going through with your husband and what happened with your sister it must be very hard to think positive, I wasnt positive at all to begin with until I had all the scan results and knew exactly what I was dealing with, then I gave my self a kick up the  you no what , got  my positive head on had the surgery and felt good in myself, I admit the chemo I'm struggling with even though I've had only one so far hardly any side affects yet, except the hair that's the hardest, I probably haven't been alot of help to you but I just saw you had recently posted on here and wanted you to know that someone had read it and to let you know you are not alone , if you would like to post back on how you are doing I'd like to know if you feel you want to keep it to yourself I understand

Take care 

Hello Cath,

Its horrible what you are experiencing. Most people on here will totally appreciate what you mean. We are all in a mess when we hear that word cancer said to us, particularly in the early days as you are. Plus the added worries surrounding your husbands situation and the loss of your sister. You have it much harder than I did. The cancer shook me rigid but at least I had no immediate family member with it or who had died from cancer. I can so understand how that alters your mindset. 

What helps is getting the plan from the surgeon  and knowing what’s happening when.  It makes you feel much more in control  of the situation. I was diagnosed in Oct 2019 and completed radiotherapy at the end of February 2020  I had Stage 2 breast cancer but luckily no lymph node involvement. 

I think trying hard to stay calm helps and to do that I  found I needed to be talking to my friends about it almost non stop in those early days. I also used the breast care nurses help line a lot. They  were brilliant and totally ‘get’ what we are going through. Call them. It’s honestly a life line.

This isn’t for everyone but I also sat in a hot bath a lot and just let myself relax. It always works for me.

Take care of yourself  You are scared and anxious right now and that’s TOTALLY understandable. Don’t beat yourself up over it.  It’s fair enough but do use the professional services that are there for you.  I wish you well. 

Sending you much love,

Kebbs x 

Thankyou i am usually very strong im not scared of the treatment im not vein what will be will be , After seeing whatcmy husband has been through the last 8 months i have total faith in our NHS ! Im just so scared of this awful disease returning and coming back jn my bones likd it did with my sister i am having a calcium level check done by my GP , 

Life seems very unfair on decent people who work hard my husband retired after 39 years service and within 2 weeks was taken so poorly and now i am poorly , yey i feel well i admire anyone who battles cancer and i pray for them , Thankyou for poating back to me i appreciate your support and goodluck on your treatment as well xxx

Hi you are right there when you said it always happens to decent hardworking people my mum had a 9 out of 10 stroke in 2016 she ended up with  paralysis down left side couldn't sit up  couldn't speak properly docs said she'd never walk again with alot of determination she now speaks fine and we've g her to walk with a tri legged stick, my dad's got parkinsons and his memory awful they decent hardworking and ended up like this and then I get diagnosed with this, I am a strong person my brother always says I'm as hard as nails a tough cookieand I never let anything beat me, but boy when u get told uve got the C word it knocks u down , I get your worry over the returning in the bones I had a bone scan at the beginning I was petrified of the results, for now the results are clear but it is in the back of my mind it could appear later on and anywhere else I keep these thoughts to myself as I worry my mum could have another stroke worrying bout me, I think positive now and I'm lucky to be here as my friend has saved my life, if it weren't for her I still wouldn't have known I had breast cancer she had mammogram it came back suspicious she had scan found lump had biopsy she lucky it was benign she had it removed end January, I  thort I'd better check myself and oh god when I looked in mirror my left breast gone completely different shape and then I felt this lump   I didn't check myself regularly   I wish I had now  I'm so paranoid now I check the other one all the time,  I think positive 99% of the time  I'm lucky I found it when I did its been caught early ish could have been a different story six months later on down the line , I do think why has this happened to me and that is a question everyone diagnosed with cancer probably asks themselves   all we can do is be strong be positive and fight our way through it, I wish you all the very best with your surgery and other treatment to follow, 

Hiya, I had my first visit to the breast clinic yesterday and had core biopsies taken from the lump in my breast and from one of my lymph nodes.  The clinicians believe it's cancer and I have a CT & MRI scan next Monday.  I was wondering, how did you tell your mum. My mum is 84 and self isolating as she suffers with chest infections.  I would rather not say anything but if I loose my hair with treatment she will know for sure. I just don't want to upset her xx

Hi wen I found my lump  all I could think about was how am I going to tell my mum  Its a hard thing to do  I was worried my mum would have another stroke over it so totally understand how u worried bout your mum and she is older than mine, I was quite lucky I booked gp appointment on the Monday as I found my lump Friday night so all closed over weekend I didn't even tell my partner till Saturday eve we spose to go out to party I couldn't face it and broke down then told him what I'd found anyway I went monday morn and my mum coming round in after, the gp said she didn't think my lump was much but wanted a biopsy done my alarm bells starting ringing, my mum turned up took one look at me knew something wrong I burst in tears and said found lump yes she start crying but I knew years ago she had mammogram recall turned out cluster cysts so she said it could be something like that, after my hospital biopsy even before the results the doctor said quite bluntly it was a nasty lump, by the time I went to c my mum after thinking how am I gona tell her now its bad she already guessed cos it was a good few hours 

Before I went to c her, when she saw me she knew by the look on my face it wasn't good , it's the worst thing I've had to do telling her but I was lucky she guessed right from start she knew something wrong with me the horrible thing was my mum then shut down wouldn't speak to my dad, brother her sister about any of it  her way of dealing with it so I just kept trying to be positive and saying it is what it is there's nothing I can do till we know all the results  and know what we dealing with, she didn't talk to anyone bout it till I had all the results back bone ct mri biopsy once we knew it had only spread to my lymph nodes  and nowhere else she snapped out of it , it was hard seeing her like it I just told everyone to leave her be this is her way of dealing with it she will talk wen ready and she did she been really good since although I don't always tell her how I'm feeling  inside , this probably hasn't been alot of help to you, I was so worried telling mum cos over the years shes suffered anxiety panic attacks claustrophobia agrophobia and the stroke but it was okay in the end, maybe say to your mum that you had found this lump and the gp wants some tests done to b on safe side tell her it could be nothing or could be something  and you won't know until you've had all the necessary scans and biopsy   but if it is not good news then you will deal with it together, the waiting game is the worst  I know I went to each scan not feeling l in positive and the day of all results I went in expecting the worse and my results were better than expected yes I had it yes and lymph  but it not spread anywhere else that was the best news , then we started to be positive and its been okay, sorry if this doesn't help you much, is you mum quite a strong minded person   I didn't think mine was but she surprised me in the end, please let me know how you get on telling your mum

I've got 2nd chemo session this week Thursday not looking forward to it means I will have 4 more left I'm on count down already 

Take care and I wish you all the best telling your mum its hard I know  xx

Hi there - I was diagnosed over a month ago and was really concerned about telling my mother - who is 88, also shielding and with heart problems - so I understand your anxiety. I waited until I was sure of the diagnosis and sure of the route I was taking - delayed surgery (because of Covid) and Letrozole as oral chemo - then told other members of my family first and made sure that there'd be someone there for her to talk to after I spoke with her on the phone. I'm in Kent, she's in Wales. I kept it simple - avoided words like tumour and chemo - and made sure to sound positive. And my husband spoke to her to and reassured her too. It was tough and she was upset afterwards.

She is a strong woman mentally and I knew she'd be more upset being kept in the dark and finding out months down the line. She is also the kind of woman who likes to care for others... and talking to me every other day, asking if I'm okay, seems to be helping her. But I appreciate everyone is different. Hope you find your own way. x

Thanks for the advice, it has helped.  Hope you are ok xx

Thanks for that, I know that I have to be brave enough to tell her, but I will wait until I know the path for me. Hope you are ok xx