How very strange...I'd hope people would be a tad more supportive, Tb20. And a bit more...knowledgeable about HPV. 

Like you say, anyone can get it...even if you had just one sexual partner in your life. 
 

Other than providing them with the info (I can see you already have), what else can you do? I tell you what, you know and we all know the real story with HPV. So leave them to it! xxx or tell them that, if they don't have HPV now, they likely would have had it themselves in the past and aren't immune to it in the future. I'd tell them - you all could have HPV right now and you wouldn't know xxx

Hi TB2020

all I can say is shame on them, for being ignorant on the subject. As much as 80% of sexual active adults (male and female) have or have had HPV and may not even know.

I have cervical cancer, I have just finished chemo, radio and brachy. I went for all my smear tests (never late once) and a colposcopy and all came back clear, no issues. They only found my tumour when they did an internal scan and yet I've still had people say to me "just shows how important it is to go for your smear tests" implying I didn't.
 

So I totally understand your frustration and feelings of embarrassment. I felt like having this cancer, people would think I didn't look after myself, or I slept around or something. 

At the end of the day tho, after everything I've been through so far, cancer treatment, failed fertility treatment, accepting I'll never have children and still not knowing if I'm out of the woods yet I really couldn't give a care in the world what other people think any more, family included.

Until they've been in our shoes and had cancer happen to them, they really don't / can't understand what it truely  means to go through cancer. 

It's easy to say this I know, but please don't let them get you down, you have enough to deal with.

take care nic

Hello nic

Thank you for getting back to me, 

Its refreshing to hear someone understand what i am going through. i am sorry to read you have been through so much and now fertililty is gone. They asked me if i wanted any more children as more operations i have the less chance it will happen. 

Like you, i had all my smears (and sexual health checks not that i even need them)  i always got an all clear and negative results. I had a go at the doctors asking why was it not found sooner, why after all these years now they find out. His answer HPV only staqrted getting checked in Dec2019. WHAT!! He tells It can take between 8 to 20 years to turn cancerous. Its frustraiting

I also find out my Dad has a cancer tumour on his Kidney much much worse than mine so will be getting kidney taken out. Smoking and his work enviroment caused his cancer and he is getting told not to smoke. But ive noticed people are more focused on how we got the cancer and not how to support us get through it. They want to blame, its my fault i have cervial cancer because i slept around its my dads fault he got cancer because he smokes. 

Does it matter the deed is done, just be there...beleive me i have blamed myself enough already. 

Thanks again fot messsage, i think i went on a bit of a rant in this one.  please stay safe i would like to know how you are getting on so keep me updated. 

Tb2020

you are right, all i can do is educate them.

i know they have googled hpv and seen all these horrible stories.

I tell everyone all the time we will all have it in the end, the way the under 25s are sleeping aroud on love island, ex on the beach and other reality shows.

but im glad to have the support on here. 

tb2020

Hi Tb2020

Thanks for the nice message. Rant away. Trust me I've had plenty of rants, including one to my oncologist about how my cancer was missed for so long. Then I balled my eyes out, the poor woman I'm pretty sure thought I was crazy lol.

Everything that's happened I've now excepted and now my treatments finished, well for now, I'm gonna try and be positive till my scan in 11 weeks. I'm lucky my fiancé has been amazing about everything including the fact we won't have children now. 

Funnily enough my sister and I were talking about exactly this this morning, that some people are quick to blame something the person has done for their cancer or illness.

Ive honestly given up caring what other people think now lol. I pity the next person who says something insensitive to me next  

good luck with your treatment, stay in touch as well and if you need another rant feel free to drop me a message 

nic 

Hi,

Victim blaming seems to be all the rage these days, I've lost count of the number of women posting on here devastated to find they have HPV despite only having ever had sex with one man, but somehow still blaming themselves.

You could point your ignorant relatives towards Jo's Trust which was set up to support and educate people about HPV, cervical cancer and screening. https://www.jostrust.org.uk/

2019 sounds about right. Let's  not forget that for some reason only teenage girls were being screened at first and not boys - despite the fact that one boy could pass HPV on to many girls and vice versa. 

Best wishes

Dave

hello Dave, 

Thanks for message. 

I have been reading up on Joe's trust about HPV and it has made me realise, hpv can happen to anyone and i shouldn't blame myself. I should focus on the cancer and not how i got it 10+ years ago.  Also it turns out my sisiter, my coisin and a relitive all have been through pre-cancer cells or Cervical Cancer like me.

Its just taken me to be open about it for others to say went through same. There is this huge stigma about HPV being this horrible sexual infection and these women must of had such a wild life style or not looked after their health.  My neice has had her hpv vaccine and i heard by the time my son is 12/13 boys will be vaccine aswell. 

Its just a shame its taken this long for hpv to be taken seriously, if i was more educate at school, colllage or when seeing doctors it may hhave been provented. I would like to be the hpv educater for schools tell both boys and girls know what the vaccine is for and its not just another injection.  

Tb2020

When I was 28 I had same, nurse at hospital said you must have had a lot of 'partners' - Told her I had  been with my then husband since 17. So she said he must have been cheating. Don't know which was worse the diagnosis or her!!

Anyway had operation to remove bad cell area (declined hysterectomy) took a while to recover but no chemo required attended frequent smear tests (3 monthly) then annual.All clear since and now in 60s.

I wouldn't let it bother you just focus on the good stuff

Good luck xx

Thank you for such a postitve message, Im glad you have recoverd and all is well. can i ask did you have any childdren after?

Why would the nurse say somrthing so silly...what im thinking now is so what if women have been sleeping around more these days its no one businss, the world is changing back in the 90s/00 hpv wasn't even mentioned in schools or sex education. So how would we know to avoid it later in life, i find out about it too late and the damage is already done.  

I am waiting on my results to see if i need a 3rd opperation, i dont know how much more cervic they can remove cant be much left. If they say its ok for now i have to wait for 6months for a smear to see if it has returned or hope a negative result. 

Thanks again x 

Yes 2 children, had to go for regular checks as pregnancy progressed to make sure was able to carry the weight of baby ok - first one. 2nd time as all was ok with first just a couple of checks near end of pregnancy. Births fine

Every case is different ofcourse but that was my experience 

XX :happy:

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