Hi,

im so sorry to hear about this terrible news. When my mum got diagnosed with an agressive stomach cancer it hit all our family extremely hard. Especially because she was going to the GP for a year before the diagnosis complaining with symptoms that didnt obviously point to Cancer but we knew something wasnt right,( the type of cancer my mum had is notoriously difficult to diagnose) My mum was 57 when she was diagnosed.im the youngest of my siblings at 24, No one deserves this and i know from my own experience that you will think all sorts of things about why this is happening to your family and your mum, whether you have done something to cause this or if you did something different it may not have happened, please know that nothing you or anyone else has done has caused this. Its natural to feel lost, i know i and my sisters did when we found out, i felt like i was watching it all unfold through someones elses eyes. Like what is the point is carrying on, The advise i would give you is lean on your family and talk to your husband and explain that you want him to say things that might upset you because you want to get things off your chest even if its upsetting, your husband might even want to aswell but may feel like he has to be hard faced for your sake, my dad is a hard man and an old fashioned man and believes a man shouldnt show emotion, but under that hard face is another person that wants to let it all out, sometimes you just need to explain that its okay to say what needs to be said. I know your a nurse and you probably see similar things all the time and think " why cant i hold it all together like i do in work" but this is something that is affecting your own family and it completely normal to feel this way, theres no right or wrong way to deal with it,  just if the anger phase comes don't project it onto love ones, it never helps and they will be there to support you through these difficult times. Take time to speak to your mum, tell her your worries and let her tell you hers, sit with her and have deep conversations about the whole situation, it helps. I put it to the back of my mind a lot, and thats okay aswell, dont let guilt make you feel like you cant still have your own life because your mums going through this, she wouldnt want it. Take care of yourself. Take everything as it comes, 1 day at a time, as hard as it is, it does no good to think what ifs or to think weeks/months/years down the line and let it consume you.

Any questions you may have, please dont hesitate.