You are a very interesting person. I wish I could doubt what they told me. I only had a CT scan. Funny, but when they told me it was in the liver I couldn't believe it. I obviously couldn't feel my own liver was swollen but apart from that, no symptoms (only from the bone spread which produced slight nausea and disappeared  with a bone infusion). 

 Are you saying you followed your instinct? Ceyenne 

You know this consultant she seemed anyway she didnt know what she was talking about  I think  she was only a resident  because she was very young and she has this attitude.Had a gut feeling dont trust her.She wasnt even sure if my primary was in breast or in lungs.My husband got so upset with her he had to walk out from the room.Since then i am not seeing this doctor.

If consultants lied they would lose their job and be struck off. What benefit would lying to a patient bring? Doctors have to be honest and blunt. I admire doctors; it must be a hard job having to deliver hard and not so good news. Whilst you do get bad doctors who do lie, it's not common. There's more standards now in medicine and handling patients. 

The doctors and consultants that my mum have seen have been brilliant. The first consultant that we saw was very blunt and said that my mum's lung scan looked like lung cancer but he was also very positive and said that there's been a lot of advances in treatment and that 10-15 years ago it would have been really bad news for my mum. He said that my mum's cancer likely wasn't curable but when we saw the oncologists they said that they were aiming to cure her.

I think the first consultant didn't want to give false hope and tell us something he wasn't sure of, especially as he's not an oncologist just a lung consultant and radiologist. Also some doctors don't like using the word "cure" when it comes to cancer as it can be debatable. 

I never used to trust doctors but now I've learnt to trust them more especially seeing how excellent they've been with my mum. I thought maybe the oncologist was being too optimistic about curing my mum but another oncologist on the team we spoke to confirmed that they were aiming to cure her. Even so if cancer can't be truly cured, now many people can live with it like a chronic condition like diabetes or MS.

It's good to know that the doctors all work as a team. I think that's more reassuring as the combined experience means that there's more than one opinion.

It's great news that the doctors are planning to treat you. It sounds like the oncologist is very positive and thinks that the treatment will be beneficial. It seems like there are plenty of options even if the treatment wasn't to work. But think positively that it will. 

Focus on getting better. Healthy lifestyle including not smoking, not drinking too much, eating healthy foods and exercise can improve your quality of life and make you feel better alongside therapy. 

Hello Catlady,

I replied to you by private message but managed to send the message to myself!

 Thank you for your reassuring replies. Cancer is very scary and I'm glad you seem to have resolved some of your fears about your mother's treatment. I wonder if you have any support in the form of a psychologist or counselling?  When my father passed, I then had to look after my mother, and when she passed eighteen months later, I was so exhausted emotionally that I sought out the help of a psychologist. It was helpful.  Your GP should be able to refer you to the in-house psychologist or at least point you in the right direction if they don't have one. 

 Try to make a space for yourself without becoming engulfed with your mother's treatment or diagnosis. I know it's hard.

Thank your for your touching reply about the patients you and your mother have heard of or met with advanced disease who are doing well. It means a lot to me. Do write again if you need someone to talk to or have questions. Hope your mother continues to do well. 

Ceyenne