Hi Kebbs,

Thank you for your kind words. I find myself feeling very much alone on my bad days when I'm down and scared. As I find it easier to talk to my friends when I'm positive. My nurse is amazing and so supportive. I find I can tell her all my thoughts without her trying to diminish them.
It is good to hear your treatment went well!

Ursulah x

Hi to All on here, 

I was diagnosed with breast cancer today.  I thought I was going in to get a biopsy done on some calcium deposits but told me I had stage 2 ductal cancer. I had already had a mammogram, ultrasound/biopsy and MRI done.  I wasn't at all prepared for it and I was on my own due to the current virus situation.  

I've been in tears since then.  I've got 2 young children. My husband has also been in tears.   As you can see the time I'm posting this,  I cannot sleep either.  My mum has also had breast cancer in her 40's like me but has been clear for 20 years.  It should bring me some hope but I am just so negative about it right now.  

I still have to go for another ultrasound next week and maybe another biopsy and then the following week, my appointment with the consultant to determine what treatment I need.  I just feel lost right now.....  not told any friends or family yet.  

Hi there,

I know just how you feel, I was diagnosed on the 2nd April after a visit to the Breast ckinic for what I felt sure would just be a fibrous lump ( I am only 40)  but no it turned out to be Grade 2 Invasive Ductal breast cancer.

I was on my own as as well because of Coronavirus and it was so much to take in all in one day I didn't really feel like it could be true.

The last two weeks have been pretty tough but I am feeling better every day, it does help when you get a treatment plan in place, although I know that as I am at the very beginning of the journey there are a couple of results still to come in that could change the course of mine.

This morning ( in about 40 minutes) I am heading into hospital to have my lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy, feeling a bit sick with nerves but I am sure it will feel good to take this first step to getting rid of the cancer.

Fingers crossed it goes well and the treatment plan of Tamoxifen and Radiotherapy remains all I need, I am ER+/PR+ but no HER2 results back yet.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that we are here when you need us, I have found this forum to be such a help when the fear and panic set it.

I am new to all of this too, but WE WILL get through it, it's just a different path to travel for a while.

Take care 

xx

To jojo2020,

Thank you so much for your post.  My fingers are crossed for you today and hope all goes well. 

I am sure for me it will slowly sink in, in the next few days.  I have been reading all sorts on the internet but I think i need to stop  because its scaring me more. 

I was in two minds about posting on here but having seen the warm responses, and in some ways reassurance from other people who are in the same situation, it has made me realise there is support out there. 

I am truly thankful for the support. 

Take care

Xxx

Hi Manda,

Sorry for the delayed response I was struggling a bit yesterday as I'm still waiting to hear when my surgery will be. I found it really hard when I first found out. It is such a shock and so difficult to know what to expect. I have good and bad days. I don't have any children so I can't imagine how difficult that must be. I have found reading books helpful in understanding a little what is to come. I do think everyone situation is different but it may help you seeing how someone else has approached their journey. Sometimes the fact that I don't have children and wanted to has upset me but I can also see this would make this more challenging. 
i have been very open with friends about my diagnosis as I felt I would cope best if it wasn't something I needed to keep secret but I waited until I felt I knew a bit more about the possible outcomes. It is very individual and only you will know what feels right to you. 3 years ago I tried to support an ex that found out he had stomach cancer but he asked me to keep it to myself which I found incredibly hard to deal with. I think that drive my decision to let those I lean on lean on other people.

Ursulah x

Hi Ursula,

I've replied to this but somehow it didn't post?

How is your treatment plan coming along?

Take care

Xxx

I've stayed away from the forums and internet bc everything I was reading was negative and I was feeling even more sick from the fear.  It's scary stuff. 

I am HER +ve and am having surgery next week.  Full mastectomy. It would usually be chemo first but under the circumstances,  it's not possible.  The consultant was quite positive and there is every indication it has not spread to the lymph nodes but every niggle I feel in my back or chest I think it's the cancer all over my body.  Won't know until the lymph node biopsy is done.  The waiting is just agony.....

Hi Manda,

Sometimes it's easier to stay away if you're trying to distract your mind. I had a lumpectomy so one breast is now a bit smaller than the other. Trying to get used to how my body now looks. At first I hated it but starting to adjust. My lymph nodes were clear but the cancer was a grade 3 so they are still determining whether I need chemo. 

You will get through this!

i found after the operation I was hit with a wave of emotions everything became a bit more real. If you're not finding this site as useful try talking to one of the charities.  Some offer free counselling. I was against it at first but once I started talking I realised I had needed to.

All the best for your operation

Ursulah x

Hi Manda,

It is completely understandable that you are afraid of everything. I am too! There is so much change coming it is hard to break it down. I lost my nipple as part of the operation and I found that really hard. I find friends and family will always try and make you feel better and sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. Comments like you don't run around topless have not helped me. I also looked at mastectomy scenario with my nurse I think she was trying to prepare me for everything and I found it frightening. I can't completely understand how you feel as my doctor decided a lumpectomy would be suitable but I think I had a little insight when I was looking at the implants and reconstruction. Have you thought about reconstruction? Is it an option at the moment?

I see this journey as a marathon and I hope I don't say the wrong thing here but most of us cannot snap out of it and sprint the whole way. There will be good and bad days. One day you may look a mastectomy bra and think this one looks nice and the next it might bring you tears. It is most important that you are kind to yourself and not judge yourself for the low days. Most important is that they get the cancer out.
I do believe we will both get through this!

Ursulah x