Nobody to talk to

Hi I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks ago .....

I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma which has spread outside of the ductal area and I'll find out of it's gone anywhere else after my surgery and node removal. 

I'm having surgery on 14th....followed by radiotherapy,  possible chemo and on medication. 

 

My girls are 26 and 9yrs old. Eldest knows and although in bits is coping well ATM. 

 

Little lady has no idea it's cancer and although she has an incling something isn't right I am struggling with my decision of whether I should tell her I have cancer and if not what do I tell her I'm going into hospital for? 

 

I've put on a brave face since finding out and as she's home educated she's always around me so I don't feel like I've had time or space to process anything myself let alone prepare to tell her..... 

 

I have nobody to talk to as I'm the matriarch of our family including my siblings and their families so I keep everyone else together.... but I am starting to feel very flat and don't know where or how to deal with it all. 

 

I have MS and I'm a very strong and positive person, not one to sit and mope around but I really feel like the walls are closing in on me and I need to talk about it all ... 

 

I have got numbers for the cancer care nurses and they are fab but I feel like I can't Kean on them for emotional support. I had a meeting with McMillan nurses but it was cancelled due to CV and although offered a number of a volunteer I can't ring with little lady being around me.....

 

God I'm waffling now.... 

 

How do I deal with everything xx

  • Hi there Julia...

    Bless ya .. I was where you are nearly 3 years ago .. feeling lost and scared .. on finding out I had a grade 3 breast lump .. and was down for a total right masectomy... I spent a day and half shut away crying nd cussing cancer... my son was in a pickle too .. 

    Then my daughter in law sat us down and said... no more panicking... no more what ifs... well live in the day and take every problem as and when it comes up... and well do it together .. 

    That was the best advice ever .. and I found this safe place where we can be honest and share feelings .. an know everyone here has been touched by cancer... 

    Now I had a 5 year old granddaughter (in pic) who was the best buddy I'd ever had .. we always laugh all the time .. and she's my little shadow .. nowshepicked up stuff .. and one night laying by me, she asked if I was going to die ... l believe in gentle honesty... I told her the Drs were going to try to make nanny better .. but as we looked up at the brightest star in the sky, that we called my mum's star .. told her if they couldn't make nanny better, I'd be a little star next to the bright one, so me and my mummy could look down on her every night , and tell her love you ... 

    She was content with that answer .. when I was her age and lost my grandad,  everyone told me lies to protect me .. when I found out the truth, l never forgave them for that... children pickup vibes and are more scared being kept out ..it's just finding a gentle way ... and if She crys or you cry .. let her know it's o.k to cry .. 

    Now on a really positive note .. I came on here and met 5/6 others with breast cancer ... all different stages and treatments... but we chatted and helped each other through... high 5 in good days and a hand to hold along the way... and any questions you have .. someone will try to answer .. cancer wants us to lay down and never get up.. to give in .. but don't let it .. get yourself some pink vertual boxing gloves and get in the ring ready to kick it's ***... wer all there with you ..

    Mine was July 2017 ... and the other lasses... ones had a baby .. most have gone back to their life post cancer  .... and a couple of us stay around here helping those just diagnosed... but we didnt loose one ..so you can let go of being the strong one on here .. the meaning of the word brave ... is being scared witless but you do it any way. 

    Sending a vertual hug ... Chrissie xx