okay so today my mum got diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I have done nothing but google symptoms since her blood test last week, and so I knew she would come back today and tell me she had the big C, but everything is just moving so fast.

She will be having a CT scan in the next few weeks which will determine the stage of cancer and if she needs the cysts to be shrunk with chemotherapy before they can operate. I’m going out of my mind with worry, and watching emmerdale I don’t think is helping. 

I don’t expect anyone to reply as we are all going through this in our own way whether grieving for a loved one or going through this horrendous disease first hand I just feel like writing things down like how I’m feeling might stop me having an emotional breakdown.

I just feel awful, my mum shouldn’t be checking up on me and asking if i’m okay, it should be the other way around.