Hello Cbry,

                  you have joined a club that no member wants to be a part of, but one that can provide you with support,knowledge and most of all understanding,one positive in what for you currently is a sea of negatives.

 Your distress and fears are those shared previously by the many who are undergoing treatment and those who have come out the other side, and sharing their experiences can be of great benefit to you in your fight to recovery.

                                 At this point l would say the sooner you can accept your position as of now ,stop looking back ,and focus on what lies ahead as calmly as you possibly can, is the one big thing that you can bring to your future treatment. l have no doubt others will join in posting with their suppot,encouragement and suggestions.

                                                                  Yes you face a struggle ahead of you,but many make a recovery,and how you carry yourself from here will make a really big difference.Good luck and l hope your journey goes easier than you are imagining it will at the moment,

                                                                                                                David