Coping with a loved one dying

So I'm writing this post as I found out a few weeks ago a close relative of mine has cancer. It's not curable and can only have treatment to help give her a longer life. She means the absolute world to me and I'm really struggling to come to terms with her terminal diagnosis. It has come at a very big shock us. She is the is the most upbeat person and does not want to upset us or worry about her, throughout the time she has been a part of our life she keeps things close to her heart as she doesn't want to us worry, she's a very independent woman and to know she will need the support I think she will struggle to comes to terms with. 

She's been quite sick and I'm worried and a bit selfish in a way that she can't have any treatment as it will make her sicker and worse but at the same time I want her to have the remaining time she has, to be of quality and remember her to be the person she is today.

My children don't know yet as my youngest won't understand at all but my eldest I am too upset to even start a conversation about it as I know I will just get choked up talking about it and scared how she will react. 

 

  • Hello Cml82, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your relative. This must be such a difficult time for you and it can be really hard to come to terms with your relative's diagnosis. You're definitely not being selfish you are obviously very concerned about her and want the very best for her. 

    It can be hard to find the right words when talking to children about cancer. We have information on our website on talking to children about cancer which you can find here and which I hope will be useful to you. 

    We're thinking of you and your relative during this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thank you for your kind words and information I will have a look xx

  • Things are now getting worse as health has made a further decline and time more limited to prognosis before and now readmitted into hospital.

    So scared time is near. I want to visit but I get worried my emotions will get the better of me and I don't want to cause any further upset 

    Cancer is so cruel:angry: